Relax, Take It Easy.

I got left hanging, because i didn't hear anything nice.

Maybe it was because i was selfish.

Oh well.

I'm selfish.

Because it is all about me.

The words i said, were too late.

Maybe i should have said it first.

Before i put on my selfish mask.

As i'm left here hanging.

I'm thinking...

Should someone get me down?

If anyone lets me get down.

Do you wonder what will happen?

I already know.

So i don't wanna be let down.

Cheering me up.

Pulls me higher.

And then i'll be left hanging even higher than before.

And when i look down.

I'll feel even more terrified and lost.

That is what makes me...

I don't know.

Do any of you know?

Music affects my mood very seriously. Therefore, my emotions are shown through my music. My choice of music shows my mood. Get it? You don't have too, although i am pretty certain it is very easy to understand.

There is a piano right across.

In the other room.

If i had continued learning.

You would hear sorrow and rhythm having a duet together every night.

If i could spilt myself into each individual mood.

I would choose to be the one who portrays sorrow.

So i can cry my heart out every night.

Tug at my heart.

Make sure i'm still human.

After that, make sure i'm still alive.

There is a very deep ocean of thoughts and regrets inside of me.

I could drown myself within myself.

And none of you would hear me calling.

None of you would see me calling.

None of you can smell the stench from my rot.

This room is filled with me.

This is my graveyard.

This is also my sanctuary.

This is my inner shell.

Can you see the barriers?

You told me to open up myself.

One has to be close to me.

That is barrier number 1.

One has to know where my house is.

That is barrier number 2.

One has to be let into my house.

That is barrier number 3.

One has to be let into my room.

That is barrier number 4.

One has to understand that i need to be comfortable.

That is barrier number 5.

One has to know that even when i'm comfortable i may not talk.

That is barrier number 6.

One has to know when to talk.

That is barrier number 7.

One has to know when to listen.

That is barrier number 8.

One has to be someone i'm comfortable be in the first place.

That is barrier number 9.

One has to be someone whom i feel i can trust.

That is barrier number 10.

One must understand me.

That barrier.

Is.

Unbreakable.

Full stories are never known with me.

Even if you have broken all these barriers.

These are the physical barriers.

Can u find me?

Within these vines and spikes and traps?

You will not be saving me.

You will not be helping me.

Because.

You are bringing me outside.

Where i'm powerless.

Where i crumble even easily than when i'm inside.

Where cuts turn into scars.

Where burns scar.

Where words tear away at a vulnerable kid.

Where emotions are swung around wildly.

In the end.

It's clear.

I'm terrified.

I'm trying my best.

I'm ok.

I'm ok.

I'm ok.

I'm gonna relax.

I'm gonna take it easy.

When i let rivers flow.

It is always replenished.

For every single drop.

I regret having let it drip away for others to see.

Introvert.

Cancer.

Selfish.

Complicated.

All of them.

I try to hide.

My armour is always ready.

Recently.

I thought that i was ready to drop it all.

I guess i just let the chains loose.

Yet i got torn apart.

As i'm gathering pieces.

Can someone watch my back?

Can someone help me gather the pieces back?

Can someone help me put the pieces in place together?