Today, was.. quite dull. Woke up at 10 plus, lucky ariel [HE'S A GUY] call me. Then slowly prepare to go soccer. Totally took my time. LOL!
When i reached the place, there were no people in the court. And there were only the 6 of us, namely : Ma[R]tin, Ariel, Joey, Syahiran, Royston and I. Was actually quite lazy to play, AS USUAL...
We then proceeded to the court and play amongst ourselves. Syafiq came abit later and we were catching up with each other, when some guy talked to royston and syahiran outside. Then i was like, : "Is that bryan? OH THAT'S BRYAN! HEY BRYAN! OH WAIT. THAT'S NOT BRYAN. LOL!"
DAMN PAISEH! HHAHAHAHAHA! But i laughed it off.:)
After a while, Ma[R]tin and Hady [LONG TIME NVR SEE HIM SIA!] came too!
Anyway... That dude was some other guy, with a team. YAY FINALLY A CHALLENGER!
K wait. I very sian. Go facebook awhile. HAHAHAH!
K sian of facebook already. HAHHAHA!!
Now.. Where was i...
Ok. The paiseh shit. Then their team came in and play, 5v5 and all that blah. We played until a point where i was trying to get the ball from this particular guy. This guy... Didn't really cover the space correctly, so i just jutted in and "wrestled" for the ball. Guess what?
I gave him a "LITTE" nudge. TAKE NOTE : LITTLE. SERIOUSLY SMALL NUDGE!
And he slipped and he fell. -.-" Loser sia. Then i was like. Whoa... Stop the game and like say sorry and help him up. Then he point me middle finger then say CB! I was like... wth? HAHHAHA! i was like smiling and all, since i hear the words CB in school almost every other minute. Apparently he knocked his thigh, which is like... Zzzz Like that only... Then pissed off until like that.
I'm PRETTY sure he is going to KPKB about this like now. HAHHA!! Telling all his friends on how "rough" i was supposedly to him. Which is like.. [I just HAVE to say this, learn from my facilitator.]
Wait. I smell something. DAMN STRONG. Do you smell it? You can't? IT SMELLS LIKE... BULLSHIT!
He hsan't even tasted rough yet. If i really challenge him, he DIE ar. Leg break until gao gao ar. Can break into 3-4 pieces. LOL JUST KIDDING. Now that i think of it, it has been a long long time since i played rough. Only when i sec 4 that time then like rough rough, because the other team was like really KNNCCBPBK [KaninaCaoCheeBaiPuBorKia.:)]
Anyway... We finished the game and we won. [OBVIOUSLY. :p]
Hady [i didn't know that he did], syahiran and i then take a smoke break, and after a while, joey and syahiran left to meet kiong. So we were left with, Ma[r]tin, Royston, Hady, Syafiq and I. Ariel left too. So we were talking crap. Crap until we shiok, then go IMM eat.
THEN... We finish eating at IMM, then continue talking crap again. DAMN STUPID! HAHAHAHAH! Oh yar Matin [HIS PROPER spelling] then passed me a vid of clement and i doing Wii Boxing. DAMN FUNNY MAN! I shall upload now!
HAHAHA! FUCKING STUPID! Especially the last part, where clement act one nice guy, then i fall for the trick! HAHAHAH! I like some siao kia punch here punch there, punch until all my muscle come out. :p Tiring sia! HAHHAAH! Oh well hope u enjoyed the video!
I think.... Later i will go down to buy so moose [if it's spelt this way] for my hair. Then can go down walk walk.:)
K i going to nua around the hse already!
Saturday, November 28, 2009
JUST FOR CAREY CHUA!
CHUA JING JING!
It truly has been a long time since we chatted!
And as you have already stated, 8 hours!
Our personal BEST record! HAHAH! Doubt we'll ever beat it again!
Now.. IF I OWE U A KINDER BUENO then...
I should get my LUNCH TREAT.:) HAHA!
I do miss the times where we caught up on the phone!
I do miss being extremly crazy and random with you over the phone!
I do miss having conferences and poking fun at other people! [E.G YAN JUN]
I DEFINITELY miss the KL trip, where we had LOADS of fun!
I do miss going back!
I miss you too!
WE MUST MEET UP SOON! WITH THE REST! [HINT FOR YOU TO ORGANIZE.:)]
It truly has been a long time since we chatted!
And as you have already stated, 8 hours!
Our personal BEST record! HAHAH! Doubt we'll ever beat it again!
Now.. IF I OWE U A KINDER BUENO then...
I should get my LUNCH TREAT.:) HAHA!
I do miss the times where we caught up on the phone!
I do miss being extremly crazy and random with you over the phone!
I do miss having conferences and poking fun at other people! [E.G YAN JUN]
I DEFINITELY miss the KL trip, where we had LOADS of fun!
I do miss going back!
I miss you too!
WE MUST MEET UP SOON! WITH THE REST! [HINT FOR YOU TO ORGANIZE.:)]
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
Waiting.
I. HAVE. ALOT. ALOT AND ALOT OF THINGS TO TYPE DOWN RIGHT NOW!
LIKE RIGHT NOW!
First of all....
THANKS TO ANGIE JIE JIE AND JING SQUARE! Thks for helping out. Even though i was still kinda bummed after chatting. I'm much much better now. [Jing Sqaure. I wanted to call u leh, budden i found out, i lost ur number. LOL! Only got ur home phone number. and i paiseh call. :p]
Anyway.. I met YH after chatting with Angie on the hp for like 1 hr? I've talked more. MUCH MUCH more in fact. Just ask Jing Square. I don't think we can EVER break our record again. HAAHHAAH! Ok, so i was still bummed out as i've already stated just now, and i had a long long talk with YH. And after that extremely long talk, i felt alot better.
Then came the next day, which is TODAY! I was like... Getting more and more elated. Seriously. Happy like shit only. LOL! And i MEAN it. HAHAHA! Today, PLENTY of things to make me happy like shit.
So let me share with you my activities for the day.
ONE.
Go to BBDC and top-up money for my tp.
But i forgot to renew my PDL. Which is like Zzzzz. Frigging Lame.
I had lunch with YH before going to BBDC, and Ronald came just when we were finishing our meal at S11 [Bukit Batok.] Damn funny they all. Turns out, when i'm lazy, everyone else seems to be full of energy. But when I'M energtic, everyone like pieces of lazy shit. HAHHAH!
I forced them to walk all the way to BBDC [NOT THAT FAR WAD...] and they were complaining about how hot it was. HAHAHAH!!!! Ok lah.. Not THAT hot, partly because i wearing my muay thai singlet. HAHHAHHA!!!
But YH made us sit the bus over to BBDC when we reached gombak MRT station. HAHAH! Glad we took it actually, it was starting to get quite hot.
TWO.
CUT MY HAIR YO! HAHAHA! Ms ANGIE jie jie, was suppose to come down and watch our hair get cut and drop to the floor. HAHAH! But she couldn't make it last minute. Oh well, her loss. HAHAHAH! Nvr see Ronald and I's EXTREME makeover. LOL!
The hair cut... Not bad.. HAHAHA! NOW. I CAN FINALLY SAY.
I.
DO.
NOT.
LOOK.
LIKE.
AN.
AH.
BENG.
YAY!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAH!!!
Now let me take a PEEK-A-TURE to show u.:)
I like that "twinkle" my ear stud gave off.:) HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
Too bad can't really see the colour. HAHA Cause YH say i look old with my new colour. LIKE BULLSHIT. IT'S LIKE COOL UNTIL LIKE... SPEECHLESS LIAO! HAHHAHA
Shit man. My BHB level suddenly go high like crazy. :p
OH YAR! I ALMOST FORGOT ABOUT THIS! Picture taken when they were in the middle of HIGHLIGHTING my hair. DAMN FUNNY! I LOOK LIKE SOME MONSTER FROM A HORROR MOVIE!
DAMN STUPID PLZ!
THREE.
Erm. Wait. Lemme think...
OH... This one's gonna be a short one. MARLBORO ICE BLAST BABY! They made me day a LITTLE better ytd. Cause i was the first person to get my hands on the stock.:)
Tribute to a stick of death. To which i can choose to end, IF I WANT TO.:)
FOURTH.
DOGGY DOGGY!!! I WANT TO HAVE A DOGGY OF MY OWN! AND ANGIE MAY PROVIDE THAT CHANCE FOR ME! But seems that, that chance MAY BE slim. Cause her didi wanna keep the dog for himself. BUT NO! I WANT IT! I WANT I WANT I WANT I WANT!!! ANGIE! I WANTTTTTT!!!! I'm so gonna give u a wake-up call tml and pester u about the doggy! I WANNA NAME IT CHOCOLATE!
FIFTH.
THIS.
ONE.
MADE.
MY.
DAY.
LIKE.
WHOOOOOOO.
HAHAHHA! SNSD! FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARKING HOT I TELL U! Man... I think i dying already. FC until brain wanna explode liao. HAHAHAH!!
WHOO. HOT STUFF.
WHOO. TIFFANY! JESSICA! TAEYEON! SOOOOOO HOT... WAHHHH!!!!!!
K i think i post one more thing then i go sleep liao.
THIS. FINAL. ONE. DAMN FUNNY SHIT.
One of my modules in school, this was done during our break. HAHAH! Zombie Game, in 2 days 1 night. EPIC FAILURE. BUT FUNNY TO WATCH! My FACI and Ronald playing. Damn stupid. EVERYONE CHEAT LIKE WAD ONLY! HAHHAAH!
Rules : Zombie suppose to be blindfolded. Bite humans when they catch them, until they shout : "I SURRENDER!" [But we changed it to tickling, cause ronald scared. HAHAHA!]
Rules : Human suppose to just survive as long as possible. Human who survives longest wins.:)
SIXTH.
TADA! OUR FAILURE ATTEMPT! HAHAHAH!
HAHAH!!! THAT BODOH RONALD RUN SO MUCH! HAHAHAAH!!!
And thats all for now folks.:) GOODNIGHT! SWEET DREAMS!
LIKE RIGHT NOW!
First of all....
THANKS TO ANGIE JIE JIE AND JING SQUARE! Thks for helping out. Even though i was still kinda bummed after chatting. I'm much much better now. [Jing Sqaure. I wanted to call u leh, budden i found out, i lost ur number. LOL! Only got ur home phone number. and i paiseh call. :p]
Anyway.. I met YH after chatting with Angie on the hp for like 1 hr? I've talked more. MUCH MUCH more in fact. Just ask Jing Square. I don't think we can EVER break our record again. HAAHHAAH! Ok, so i was still bummed out as i've already stated just now, and i had a long long talk with YH. And after that extremely long talk, i felt alot better.
Then came the next day, which is TODAY! I was like... Getting more and more elated. Seriously. Happy like shit only. LOL! And i MEAN it. HAHAHA! Today, PLENTY of things to make me happy like shit.
So let me share with you my activities for the day.
ONE.
Go to BBDC and top-up money for my tp.
But i forgot to renew my PDL. Which is like Zzzzz. Frigging Lame.
I had lunch with YH before going to BBDC, and Ronald came just when we were finishing our meal at S11 [Bukit Batok.] Damn funny they all. Turns out, when i'm lazy, everyone else seems to be full of energy. But when I'M energtic, everyone like pieces of lazy shit. HAHHAH!
I forced them to walk all the way to BBDC [NOT THAT FAR WAD...] and they were complaining about how hot it was. HAHAHAH!!!! Ok lah.. Not THAT hot, partly because i wearing my muay thai singlet. HAHHAHHA!!!
But YH made us sit the bus over to BBDC when we reached gombak MRT station. HAHAH! Glad we took it actually, it was starting to get quite hot.
TWO.
CUT MY HAIR YO! HAHAHA! Ms ANGIE jie jie, was suppose to come down and watch our hair get cut and drop to the floor. HAHAH! But she couldn't make it last minute. Oh well, her loss. HAHAHAH! Nvr see Ronald and I's EXTREME makeover. LOL!
The hair cut... Not bad.. HAHAHA! NOW. I CAN FINALLY SAY.
I.
DO.
NOT.
LOOK.
LIKE.
AN.
AH.
BENG.
YAY!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAH!!!
Now let me take a PEEK-A-TURE to show u.:)
I like that "twinkle" my ear stud gave off.:) HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
Too bad can't really see the colour. HAHA Cause YH say i look old with my new colour. LIKE BULLSHIT. IT'S LIKE COOL UNTIL LIKE... SPEECHLESS LIAO! HAHHAHA
Shit man. My BHB level suddenly go high like crazy. :p
OH YAR! I ALMOST FORGOT ABOUT THIS! Picture taken when they were in the middle of HIGHLIGHTING my hair. DAMN FUNNY! I LOOK LIKE SOME MONSTER FROM A HORROR MOVIE!
DAMN STUPID PLZ!
THREE.
Erm. Wait. Lemme think...
OH... This one's gonna be a short one. MARLBORO ICE BLAST BABY! They made me day a LITTLE better ytd. Cause i was the first person to get my hands on the stock.:)
Tribute to a stick of death. To which i can choose to end, IF I WANT TO.:)
FOURTH.
DOGGY DOGGY!!! I WANT TO HAVE A DOGGY OF MY OWN! AND ANGIE MAY PROVIDE THAT CHANCE FOR ME! But seems that, that chance MAY BE slim. Cause her didi wanna keep the dog for himself. BUT NO! I WANT IT! I WANT I WANT I WANT I WANT!!! ANGIE! I WANTTTTTT!!!! I'm so gonna give u a wake-up call tml and pester u about the doggy! I WANNA NAME IT CHOCOLATE!
FIFTH.
THIS.
ONE.
MADE.
MY.
DAY.
LIKE.
WHOOOOOOO.
HAHAHHA! SNSD! FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARKING HOT I TELL U! Man... I think i dying already. FC until brain wanna explode liao. HAHAHAH!!
WHOO. HOT STUFF.
WHOO. TIFFANY! JESSICA! TAEYEON! SOOOOOO HOT... WAHHHH!!!!!!
K i think i post one more thing then i go sleep liao.
THIS. FINAL. ONE. DAMN FUNNY SHIT.
One of my modules in school, this was done during our break. HAHAH! Zombie Game, in 2 days 1 night. EPIC FAILURE. BUT FUNNY TO WATCH! My FACI and Ronald playing. Damn stupid. EVERYONE CHEAT LIKE WAD ONLY! HAHHAAH!
Rules : Zombie suppose to be blindfolded. Bite humans when they catch them, until they shout : "I SURRENDER!" [But we changed it to tickling, cause ronald scared. HAHAHA!]
Rules : Human suppose to just survive as long as possible. Human who survives longest wins.:)
SIXTH.
TADA! OUR FAILURE ATTEMPT! HAHAHAH!
HAHAH!!! THAT BODOH RONALD RUN SO MUCH! HAHAHAAH!!!
And thats all for now folks.:) GOODNIGHT! SWEET DREAMS!
Monday, November 23, 2009
Swing Day
K my fav Ben&Jerry's Ice-cream combos are here.:)
I go take first. Then i shall blog.
I'm still here. LOL! wtf man... FB until lazy take. K i think i WILL get up and take it now.
*Brief Intervention*
Done with the Ben & Jerry's Ice-Cream liao!
K currently msning with LP, Twin Brother, TTP and Wife.
Now like boring only. K nvm, I shall blog about this ENTIRE day!
WAKING UP FOR SCHOOL
Guess what time i finally stop nua-ing and got up from bed. My lesson starts at 9:15.
I got up at like 830am? Wasn't in the best of moods, never have been, for school at least. I was like... Sianned. Really sian. Then like dun wan go school like that, but have to, because i want to, because i realised that i haven pon this module yet, and i DO NOT intend on doing so.:) [Good Boy Seh!]
Tell u what.
what.
K lamed.
TO SCHOOL
Today on the way to school, i was so aware of my physical space. On the mrt, i felt like i had spikes or something on me. It was like, i wanted everyone to be like 1 metre away from me. Seriously. 1 metre. No less.
This girl got like alittle closer than the others, my face changed. Totally. She was like 2-3 steps away? And I DID NOT LIKE IT. Even if chio bu, i oso dun wan. I don't want any physical contact. Don't TOUCH me.
Irritating...
On my way to school, guess what was on my mind?
Nvm.
Don't Guess.
Unless UR Ronald or Yang Han or Kino or ZJ.
Something to do with ICE ICE BABY~
Yea.
Thats right...
Ice Blast. [WHICH TOTALLY RUINED MY MOOD EVEN MORE]
Guess i'll just have to settle with, as Ronald says, the GURU brand. LOL
CLASS TIME
Walked into class at about 930? Around there.
Apparently i had just missed a session of the GREAT SINGAPORE WORKOUT. [Glad i took my time walking to school.] I sat down and immediately, my faci pulled out a JUMPSTYLE video. I was like... WHAT?! But eventually i got into the mood for class.
Funny shit. Seriously. I want lessons to be like that from now on. I mean it. Fun. And WE LEARN. We workout. We sweat, and we get Healthier. Both physically and mentally.
1ST BREAK PERIOD
Didn't go out. Just stayed in class and nua-ed the whole time, sliding around the martial arts room, doing some random tecktonik moves, and learning the CARAMEL dance. HAHA funny dance. Act Cute only. :p
2ND MEETING
Nothing much, just more DDR and stuff, and even more tecktonik and caramel dancing. OH OH. Wondergirls and SNSD dance moves. Learning from youtube. Damn funny! Even got recorded down. You all should seriously see Ronald Eng Wei Yong. DAMN idiotic! But at least he made me happy for awhile.
2ND BREAK PERIOD
Asked Meng and Ronald to accompany me to shell, to check on the stock. AND WE WASTED OUR BLOODY ENERGY! No stock! Zzzz. Ahhh nvm, i still have, so still can wait. They better come soon though.
You know what? I'm lazy to write anything more liao.
K cya guys.
Oh and thks Jing Square! I'm glad u do take notice.:) Just that i don't know what the problem is. I want my free meal k? HA!
I go take first. Then i shall blog.
I'm still here. LOL! wtf man... FB until lazy take. K i think i WILL get up and take it now.
*Brief Intervention*
Done with the Ben & Jerry's Ice-Cream liao!
K currently msning with LP, Twin Brother, TTP and Wife.
Now like boring only. K nvm, I shall blog about this ENTIRE day!
WAKING UP FOR SCHOOL
Guess what time i finally stop nua-ing and got up from bed. My lesson starts at 9:15.
I got up at like 830am? Wasn't in the best of moods, never have been, for school at least. I was like... Sianned. Really sian. Then like dun wan go school like that, but have to, because i want to, because i realised that i haven pon this module yet, and i DO NOT intend on doing so.:) [Good Boy Seh!]
Tell u what.
what.
K lamed.
TO SCHOOL
Today on the way to school, i was so aware of my physical space. On the mrt, i felt like i had spikes or something on me. It was like, i wanted everyone to be like 1 metre away from me. Seriously. 1 metre. No less.
This girl got like alittle closer than the others, my face changed. Totally. She was like 2-3 steps away? And I DID NOT LIKE IT. Even if chio bu, i oso dun wan. I don't want any physical contact. Don't TOUCH me.
Irritating...
On my way to school, guess what was on my mind?
Nvm.
Don't Guess.
Unless UR Ronald or Yang Han or Kino or ZJ.
Something to do with ICE ICE BABY~
Yea.
Thats right...
Ice Blast. [WHICH TOTALLY RUINED MY MOOD EVEN MORE]
Guess i'll just have to settle with, as Ronald says, the GURU brand. LOL
CLASS TIME
Walked into class at about 930? Around there.
Apparently i had just missed a session of the GREAT SINGAPORE WORKOUT. [Glad i took my time walking to school.] I sat down and immediately, my faci pulled out a JUMPSTYLE video. I was like... WHAT?! But eventually i got into the mood for class.
Funny shit. Seriously. I want lessons to be like that from now on. I mean it. Fun. And WE LEARN. We workout. We sweat, and we get Healthier. Both physically and mentally.
1ST BREAK PERIOD
Didn't go out. Just stayed in class and nua-ed the whole time, sliding around the martial arts room, doing some random tecktonik moves, and learning the CARAMEL dance. HAHA funny dance. Act Cute only. :p
2ND MEETING
Nothing much, just more DDR and stuff, and even more tecktonik and caramel dancing. OH OH. Wondergirls and SNSD dance moves. Learning from youtube. Damn funny! Even got recorded down. You all should seriously see Ronald Eng Wei Yong. DAMN idiotic! But at least he made me happy for awhile.
2ND BREAK PERIOD
Asked Meng and Ronald to accompany me to shell, to check on the stock. AND WE WASTED OUR BLOODY ENERGY! No stock! Zzzz. Ahhh nvm, i still have, so still can wait. They better come soon though.
You know what? I'm lazy to write anything more liao.
K cya guys.
Oh and thks Jing Square! I'm glad u do take notice.:) Just that i don't know what the problem is. I want my free meal k? HA!
Sunday, November 22, 2009
Klass-ified
Right now... I just think.. I'm dead. Wanna know why?
Oh well, even if you don't want to read, here it is.
I think... I've been dead since secondary school. Because... That was the time, where i lost my laughter. I wear my laughing face most of the time. To be a joker, lamer, nonsense-maker. Why?
I can't laugh truthfully anymore... I've lost the essence of laughing...
Hear my laughter
See my smile
I'm pretty sure their all conditioned responses already. I laugh to fit in, i laugh because it is supposedly healthier. I laugh, not because it is funny anymore. Those are just hollow cries of evidence that i'm dead.
I've been told, that a person's true personality comes out when they are tipsy or drunk. I laughed WHOLEHEARTLY for 1 hour AT LEAST, NON-STOP, the first time i got tipsy.
After that. I've realised. My laughter has been hollow. Empty, non-existant. My smiles are fake too. I just smile, because i don't want people to hate me. I smile, because i look friendlier that way. If i don't smile, i look pissed, i look murderous [thks to whoever that said that to me. Seriously.]
Secondary school. I tot i was stepping one emo. Black and all that shit. Guess what?
I'm turning darker inside by the second. Literally too.
I don't need someone to save me.
I don't need sympathy.
I don't need.
I don't.
Because i doubt.
Because i'm a non-believer.
Because i don't want to.
Because i'm pretty sure, there is no one.
I'm tired of wearing masks.
I don't wanna to go to school anymore.
I wanna sit down and just fade away.
I want to observe.
I then want to think about what i've observed.
I want to see people, yet i don't want them to see me.
Isn't that like a ghost?
I think i am a ghost.
Ghost can't laugh.
Ghost do what they want.
I do what i want.
Yet.
I do not want what i do.
Disgusting.
Contradicting isn't it?
Do you understand me?
You will never understand me.
My world is shut out from here.
Right now, even i don't have the keys.
But when i find it.
What do you think i'll do?
Don't even think about it.
Take a listen.
To my music.
Wait.
Don't.
You can't understand anyway.
I'll just give a hint.
Music makes me dream.
Dreaming makes me think.
And i am not the most optimistic person on earth.
HAHA!
Was that real?
Was that fake?
Can you tell?
If there was a tone in it.
If i said that right in your faces.
Would you understand?
Can you interpret?
Time.
Money.
Feelings.
Health.
All about me huh?
But you shouldn't care.
Because i don't care.
Caring is Sharing?
That proves i ain't sharing or caring huh?
Guess that's right.
Why is this klassified?
Make a guess.
This may be one of the few things you can guess correctly.
Go Go Go Go Go...
I think i said this before.
Lots of barriers.
Know what?
No you don't.
I'll just tell you.
Their getting thicker.
Interpret.
I'll tell you though.
Many things are related to it.
Thicker.
Heavier.
Soon i'll just sink.
This.
Is.
Darker.
Than.
BLACK.
I'm not done.
You thought that was the end didn't you.
Don't lie.
Because i'll just catch you.
Lying...
Most fun thing to do?
I think quite so.
I lie.
Everyday.
Am i lying?
I tell u that i lie everyday.
I said.
I tell u that i lie everyday.
WHAT SAY YOU?
Wait.
I don't want to hear it anymore.
Now.
I have something that i want.
Catch.
Get the catch?
Oh.
I forgot.
I'm too confusing already.
Read.
Continue reading.
People.
Just continue.
Satisfy me.
Feed me.
Tell me.
Show me.
Care for me.
Because i can't.
Do.
It.
For myself.
You must have tot something dirty for that.
Lies.
Emotional.
Psychic.
Make me up.
Understand?
I doubt you do.
Even my parents don't understand.
I've been told by my relatives.
They don't understand what i do sometimes.
They LIED.
They.
Don't.
Understand.
What i do.
MOST.
OF.
THE.
TIME.
I'm like an ant.
Apparently.
Crowding around those electrical wires.
For who knows what.
I don't want to try.
I'm thinking.
How?
Who do you think you are?
Wondering?
Wondering about?
Wondering about who this question is for?
Continue wondering.
If you wonder.
Then you'll never get the answer.
There are ONLY two answers.
Think.
But i think everyone will just misunderstand.
And why am i somehow happy about it?
FUCK THIS SHIT.
HAHA!
I'm growing.
Something i don't know.
Into.
Go figure.
Should be easy.
How does it feel?
I don't know.
What am i feeling now?
I think i should give a chance.
Hey people.
One chance.
I may give more.
But i'm afraid.
Afraid.
That.
I'll be gone.
Before.
Another chance comes.
Oh well, even if you don't want to read, here it is.
I think... I've been dead since secondary school. Because... That was the time, where i lost my laughter. I wear my laughing face most of the time. To be a joker, lamer, nonsense-maker. Why?
I can't laugh truthfully anymore... I've lost the essence of laughing...
Hear my laughter
See my smile
I'm pretty sure their all conditioned responses already. I laugh to fit in, i laugh because it is supposedly healthier. I laugh, not because it is funny anymore. Those are just hollow cries of evidence that i'm dead.
I've been told, that a person's true personality comes out when they are tipsy or drunk. I laughed WHOLEHEARTLY for 1 hour AT LEAST, NON-STOP, the first time i got tipsy.
After that. I've realised. My laughter has been hollow. Empty, non-existant. My smiles are fake too. I just smile, because i don't want people to hate me. I smile, because i look friendlier that way. If i don't smile, i look pissed, i look murderous [thks to whoever that said that to me. Seriously.]
Secondary school. I tot i was stepping one emo. Black and all that shit. Guess what?
I'm turning darker inside by the second. Literally too.
I don't need someone to save me.
I don't need sympathy.
I don't need.
I don't.
Because i doubt.
Because i'm a non-believer.
Because i don't want to.
Because i'm pretty sure, there is no one.
I'm tired of wearing masks.
I don't wanna to go to school anymore.
I wanna sit down and just fade away.
I want to observe.
I then want to think about what i've observed.
I want to see people, yet i don't want them to see me.
Isn't that like a ghost?
I think i am a ghost.
Ghost can't laugh.
Ghost do what they want.
I do what i want.
Yet.
I do not want what i do.
Disgusting.
Contradicting isn't it?
Do you understand me?
You will never understand me.
My world is shut out from here.
Right now, even i don't have the keys.
But when i find it.
What do you think i'll do?
Don't even think about it.
Take a listen.
To my music.
Wait.
Don't.
You can't understand anyway.
I'll just give a hint.
Music makes me dream.
Dreaming makes me think.
And i am not the most optimistic person on earth.
HAHA!
Was that real?
Was that fake?
Can you tell?
If there was a tone in it.
If i said that right in your faces.
Would you understand?
Can you interpret?
Time.
Money.
Feelings.
Health.
All about me huh?
But you shouldn't care.
Because i don't care.
Caring is Sharing?
That proves i ain't sharing or caring huh?
Guess that's right.
Why is this klassified?
Make a guess.
This may be one of the few things you can guess correctly.
Go Go Go Go Go...
I think i said this before.
Lots of barriers.
Know what?
No you don't.
I'll just tell you.
Their getting thicker.
Interpret.
I'll tell you though.
Many things are related to it.
Thicker.
Heavier.
Soon i'll just sink.
This.
Is.
Darker.
Than.
BLACK.
I'm not done.
You thought that was the end didn't you.
Don't lie.
Because i'll just catch you.
Lying...
Most fun thing to do?
I think quite so.
I lie.
Everyday.
Am i lying?
I tell u that i lie everyday.
I said.
I tell u that i lie everyday.
WHAT SAY YOU?
Wait.
I don't want to hear it anymore.
Now.
I have something that i want.
Catch.
Get the catch?
Oh.
I forgot.
I'm too confusing already.
Read.
Continue reading.
People.
Just continue.
Satisfy me.
Feed me.
Tell me.
Show me.
Care for me.
Because i can't.
Do.
It.
For myself.
You must have tot something dirty for that.
Lies.
Emotional.
Psychic.
Make me up.
Understand?
I doubt you do.
Even my parents don't understand.
I've been told by my relatives.
They don't understand what i do sometimes.
They LIED.
They.
Don't.
Understand.
What i do.
MOST.
OF.
THE.
TIME.
I'm like an ant.
Apparently.
Crowding around those electrical wires.
For who knows what.
I don't want to try.
I'm thinking.
How?
Who do you think you are?
Wondering?
Wondering about?
Wondering about who this question is for?
Continue wondering.
If you wonder.
Then you'll never get the answer.
There are ONLY two answers.
Think.
But i think everyone will just misunderstand.
And why am i somehow happy about it?
FUCK THIS SHIT.
HAHA!
I'm growing.
Something i don't know.
Into.
Go figure.
Should be easy.
How does it feel?
I don't know.
What am i feeling now?
I think i should give a chance.
Hey people.
One chance.
I may give more.
But i'm afraid.
Afraid.
That.
I'll be gone.
Before.
Another chance comes.
Friday, November 20, 2009
PASS PASS PASS!
ONE HIT K.O! Thats what needs to happen tml. First time's the charm for me, well... So far. HAHAHA! BTT first time pass, FTT first time pass. TP OSO! I WAN FIRST TIME PASS!!!! I'm still coughing like shit. Idiot. But hopefully tml i don't get affected by it tml.
That time when Kiong ask me whether i confident, i replied : OF COURSE AR! HAHAHAH! Now ar... WAH... Starting to feel a little ueasy. AHHHHHH!!!!! I need Ben&Jerry Ice-Cream now. LIKE NOW. LIKE *turns head around* and *poof* Ben&Jerry Ice-Cream with a spoon there for me to eat, on the table. NOW. @$%^!
NVM. I will study YH's driving manual for ONE last time TODAY, before i set off tml. Like.... FWAH.... I really wanna eat Ben&Jerry! T.T
Today stupid lor... The instructor guy... I called him, and asked him whether got slot for lesson anot, today and tml morning. Then he say, he will get back to me. THEN..... NOW WHAT TIME ALREADY?! Still haven even SMS me. Seriously WTF. Zzzzz.
K nvm... First i talk about school today.
OH WAIT. I DIDN'T GO TO SCHOOL TODAY! LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL! Well... Technically i did, but... Half the class left, and most of us went to the cinema.:) We watched... PARANORMAL ACTIVITY!!! WHOOOO!!!!
I was like so so so desperate to watch that movie.:) Cause like cool only.:) Razmi [Razmi's Theme Song : Satisfaction RAZMI REMIX! Supposedly playing here] even forced himself to finish his pizza just so that we could pull another one of our classmates to watch it.:) HAHAHAHHA!!! DAMN FUNNY! Eat until left the last mouthful then the pizza fell on the floor. LOL! Then i passed him my last bite to complete the challenge. HAHHA!!!!
PARANORMAL ACTIVITY
It was not bad... Quite funny actually! AHAH! Cause of the couple fights. DAMN STUPID AND FUNNY I TELL U! Typical i give u promise, but somehow manage to weave and achieving something that i DID promise, but did not not break the promise in the process.:) Got one part, SIA LAH. LIKE DAMN SCARY FOR THE GIRL LAH! As in the main character girl. I shall not give spoilers for this particular movie. Cause this movie if given spoiler... Really spoil the movie. But movie not bad, just that i think my bunch of friends and i were kinda noisy just now? AHAHAH!! Laugh laugh, when it is suppose to be scary. Which was... But just humourous too.:)
Now for my parents!!!
DADDY & MOMMY
They came back earlier this morning, at like i think 1 plus? I think i was asleep already. Yar. I was asleep already. Cause no recollection of them making noise, just that my aunt tell me they should be back at like 1 plus.
Can't say i wasn't elated when they came back home.:) Safe and sound.:) But the fact that they didn't let me drive the car really ticked me off alittle. HAHAH! Oh well. I'll pass tml and DRIVE MY DAD'S CAR! HAHAHH!!!!
Anyway... My dad cooked dinner for the family today. I was sleeping, apparently when i got home from my so called "class-outing", i just slumped into bed and fell asleep. Dinner was great.:) But i didn't eat alot, well, not as much as i usually do. And once again.. My dad complain again... SO MUCH RICE! Then my usual response... Then i eat lah... To which he settled down. LOL Like little kid sia when i type like that. HAHHAH!!!!
Oh well. I don't care about the car thingy, cause i'll drive their car sooner or later.:) For now, i'll just patiently wait. And HOPEFULLY. Tml i PASS! WHOOO!!!!!
K. I go find some other thing to do.:)
That time when Kiong ask me whether i confident, i replied : OF COURSE AR! HAHAHAH! Now ar... WAH... Starting to feel a little ueasy. AHHHHHH!!!!! I need Ben&Jerry Ice-Cream now. LIKE NOW. LIKE *turns head around* and *poof* Ben&Jerry Ice-Cream with a spoon there for me to eat, on the table. NOW. @$%^!
NVM. I will study YH's driving manual for ONE last time TODAY, before i set off tml. Like.... FWAH.... I really wanna eat Ben&Jerry! T.T
Today stupid lor... The instructor guy... I called him, and asked him whether got slot for lesson anot, today and tml morning. Then he say, he will get back to me. THEN..... NOW WHAT TIME ALREADY?! Still haven even SMS me. Seriously WTF. Zzzzz.
K nvm... First i talk about school today.
OH WAIT. I DIDN'T GO TO SCHOOL TODAY! LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL! Well... Technically i did, but... Half the class left, and most of us went to the cinema.:) We watched... PARANORMAL ACTIVITY!!! WHOOOO!!!!
I was like so so so desperate to watch that movie.:) Cause like cool only.:) Razmi [Razmi's Theme Song : Satisfaction RAZMI REMIX! Supposedly playing here] even forced himself to finish his pizza just so that we could pull another one of our classmates to watch it.:) HAHAHAHHA!!! DAMN FUNNY! Eat until left the last mouthful then the pizza fell on the floor. LOL! Then i passed him my last bite to complete the challenge. HAHHA!!!!
PARANORMAL ACTIVITY
It was not bad... Quite funny actually! AHAH! Cause of the couple fights. DAMN STUPID AND FUNNY I TELL U! Typical i give u promise, but somehow manage to weave and achieving something that i DID promise, but did not not break the promise in the process.:) Got one part, SIA LAH. LIKE DAMN SCARY FOR THE GIRL LAH! As in the main character girl. I shall not give spoilers for this particular movie. Cause this movie if given spoiler... Really spoil the movie. But movie not bad, just that i think my bunch of friends and i were kinda noisy just now? AHAHAH!! Laugh laugh, when it is suppose to be scary. Which was... But just humourous too.:)
Now for my parents!!!
DADDY & MOMMY
They came back earlier this morning, at like i think 1 plus? I think i was asleep already. Yar. I was asleep already. Cause no recollection of them making noise, just that my aunt tell me they should be back at like 1 plus.
Can't say i wasn't elated when they came back home.:) Safe and sound.:) But the fact that they didn't let me drive the car really ticked me off alittle. HAHAH! Oh well. I'll pass tml and DRIVE MY DAD'S CAR! HAHAHH!!!!
Anyway... My dad cooked dinner for the family today. I was sleeping, apparently when i got home from my so called "class-outing", i just slumped into bed and fell asleep. Dinner was great.:) But i didn't eat alot, well, not as much as i usually do. And once again.. My dad complain again... SO MUCH RICE! Then my usual response... Then i eat lah... To which he settled down. LOL Like little kid sia when i type like that. HAHHAH!!!!
Oh well. I don't care about the car thingy, cause i'll drive their car sooner or later.:) For now, i'll just patiently wait. And HOPEFULLY. Tml i PASS! WHOOO!!!!!
K. I go find some other thing to do.:)
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
To Dear ZJ and IKA
ZJ. I don't know whether you will read this, because i don't think i will give you this link. But today, YH and I were talking about you.
I'm still quite bummed because this is the first time i cannot offer any help to a friend. YH told me because you are older, you have witnessed and experienced things that i have yet to. It is because so, my words cannot do any help.
Although i have not been through most of what you have been through. I just wanna say, no hardship cannot be overcome. The first thing, is get past yourself, because that is how we grow. That i know, because i still seem to have a shell of the past with me, which i still cannot leave entirely behind. I can smoke with you, i can sit with you, i can be the listening ear. I've been leaned on, so i can offer my shoulder as a friend. I know we are both guys, and that we all have ego.
But i feel, that it is okay, to drop your barrier and defences once in a while. That i know too, because i still bury my heart deep within multiple layers of fortresses. That time, when i stayed over at your house with Angie and Yang Han, i kept quiet all the way. Although i have never dropped it all before, but i have dropped my defences bit by bit and it has helped me.:) Confused you may be, unsettled your heart may be. Call me a k-p-o, i don't care. You say that you are a pessimistic, and although i may not be the brightest of people around, i am still confident that i CAN lend a helping hand. Because it sucks to see a friend like you being down in this state.
Cheer up eh ZJ?
IKA. Ms stiki!! I've heard of the news, and i am deeply sorry for what has happened. I will not tell you that it was her time. Because we all want our parents to be there forever. When i lost my grandfather, i cried like a baby, maybe even worse. The thing that shocked me most, was that, i wasn't really close with my grandfather. I didn't really like him when i was younger. Yet i shed tears when i saw him laying at the hospital bed motionless, and because of that, i am sure. That i am unable to comprehend what you are going through right now.
We may not be the closest of friends, but i hope that you will stay strong, and not do anything foolish. There must be no regrets, for each situation you regret, your heart grows heavier, and soon one will not be able to pull themselves up anymore. You may not be able to talk about your mother for period of time without losing control over your emotions, that i can understand, but getting through this difficult time is crucial. You have a big group of friends waiting right beside you to support you all the way.:) And we will always try our best to help.:) This wound is deep, we all know it, we would wish not to experience it, however it will and must happen, therefore, our ears will always be open, our shoulders will be there for you to cry on.
Stay strong STIKI! Hope to see you in school soon.:) I'll give you a hug k!
I'm still quite bummed because this is the first time i cannot offer any help to a friend. YH told me because you are older, you have witnessed and experienced things that i have yet to. It is because so, my words cannot do any help.
Although i have not been through most of what you have been through. I just wanna say, no hardship cannot be overcome. The first thing, is get past yourself, because that is how we grow. That i know, because i still seem to have a shell of the past with me, which i still cannot leave entirely behind. I can smoke with you, i can sit with you, i can be the listening ear. I've been leaned on, so i can offer my shoulder as a friend. I know we are both guys, and that we all have ego.
But i feel, that it is okay, to drop your barrier and defences once in a while. That i know too, because i still bury my heart deep within multiple layers of fortresses. That time, when i stayed over at your house with Angie and Yang Han, i kept quiet all the way. Although i have never dropped it all before, but i have dropped my defences bit by bit and it has helped me.:) Confused you may be, unsettled your heart may be. Call me a k-p-o, i don't care. You say that you are a pessimistic, and although i may not be the brightest of people around, i am still confident that i CAN lend a helping hand. Because it sucks to see a friend like you being down in this state.
Cheer up eh ZJ?
IKA. Ms stiki!! I've heard of the news, and i am deeply sorry for what has happened. I will not tell you that it was her time. Because we all want our parents to be there forever. When i lost my grandfather, i cried like a baby, maybe even worse. The thing that shocked me most, was that, i wasn't really close with my grandfather. I didn't really like him when i was younger. Yet i shed tears when i saw him laying at the hospital bed motionless, and because of that, i am sure. That i am unable to comprehend what you are going through right now.
We may not be the closest of friends, but i hope that you will stay strong, and not do anything foolish. There must be no regrets, for each situation you regret, your heart grows heavier, and soon one will not be able to pull themselves up anymore. You may not be able to talk about your mother for period of time without losing control over your emotions, that i can understand, but getting through this difficult time is crucial. You have a big group of friends waiting right beside you to support you all the way.:) And we will always try our best to help.:) This wound is deep, we all know it, we would wish not to experience it, however it will and must happen, therefore, our ears will always be open, our shoulders will be there for you to cry on.
Stay strong STIKI! Hope to see you in school soon.:) I'll give you a hug k!
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