Balance

Finding balance in life would be the ultimate achievement. Being able to cater time and effort for everything equally will mean a certain amount of satisfaction for everyone. Being home, going out. Spending the amount of time we are required to spend, making sure we make do the best we can while spending time. Yet even as we know all these steps. Balance is so hard to achieve. I really wonder if I can find balance in this life of mine. I cannot spend more than a fixed amount of time on this, or that. I would always be told that I shouldn't spend time on things that I enjoy. Doesn't matter if I were to fulfill my responsibilities for specific tasks. At the end of the day, I would have to totally forgo what I enjoy in life. Take away my responsibilities, even for just a day. When everything has been said and done, the result would always be the same. Why? Why are you always spending time on the wrong things? I guess I just have to stop doing everything I want to do. Stop playing soccer, because I can't have lunch together with my family. If I were to limit the time for me to play, I might as well forgo the activity entirely. By the time I were to calculate traveling time and money, it simply would not be worth it. I should stop meeting friends, because I won't be home. I can't tell my friends to come over every time. Wouldn't they be missing out time with their family members? We can't say that our outing must end at a certain timing. What if we were suppose to finish our outing or activity at maybe 3? Would that mean that I must just stop whatever I was doing and just leave? I should just stash my consoles and laptops away. Since they don't give me sufficient knowledge on how to make a living in the real world. They make me spend less time with people. Then I would have more money. Then I would have spend all my time doing the Correct and appropriate thing. And my friends should follow suit, because they should find balance too, or they are bad influences. Man... I'm just a bad person. Yea. Always thinking for myself. So selfish. Don't deserve anything worthwhile. I must give in and learn to be the role model. I'm a father now, I have to live a fixed and idealistic lifestyle.