New Year. New Things. New Experiences.

2010! Arriving later!

Anyway... Am supposed to prepare to leave my house soon to go my cousin's aunt's hse. Bringing my xbox controllers over there to own everyone at HALO 2. :p HAHAHAHAH!!!

Today can be considered as... Really unexpected i think.

This morning. YES THIS MORNING. I drove my dad's car again. According to yh, i've been driving my dad's car everyday since he came back. LOL! This time, we went to west coast, clementi, hillview, jurong east, lakeside, jurong west.

West coast or else is clementi. REALLY SCARED THE SHIT OUTTA ME. STUPID CATS! RAWR!!! Both black cats. I was joking around with brian doing the HEARTBEAT dance under some block while we were looking for an ATM. Then suddenly these two cats like behind us scowl and screech. FWAH! I literally jumped and grabbed my heart. LOL!

Somemore at that moment i was saying "Can you feel my heartbeat?". Then when that incident happened. I DEFINITELY felt my heartbeat. LOL! Beat until pain ar. HAHAHAHA!!!

After that we went to west coast to eat some mac.

Then the usual, slopes and turn-abouts. Oh but this morning's turnabout was damn funny. This taxi uncle, suddenly slow down in front of us, even though i was letting him go because [must give way to right wad] and oso i wan him to go first so that i can turn a few rounds.

SKALY... HE OSO TURN AROUND and AROUND. LOLOLOLOLOLOL! Then brian was like TAILGATE TAILGATE! HAHAHAHA! So we just follow lor. AHAHAHAH! Until another taxi come, then i was like, ok stop playing liao. :p

And FINALLY... THIS MORNING! NOBODY took my dad's car slot! WHOOO!!! HAPPY OR WAD! AHAHHAH!

Ok i should really go to get a shower now.

Will be over at my cousin's aunt's place. Then most prolly off to town.

I-GE-SOU! LETS GO!

3rd time is the charm. I hope. HA!

Totally like... Er... Dunno lah. Not really sian, not really scared, not really not caring. HAHAHA!

Why?

REPEAT OF THE PREVIOUS TIME DAMNIT!

SHA 6998 G!

Die ar.

I think i'm going to have to remember alot of license plates. LOL!

THIS BASTARD TAXI UNCLE! WAH LAO EH!!!! SPOIL THE FUN!

This time, slope-ed twice at the jurong east there. One at 100. Another at 80~90. Went to west coast too. HAHA! LIKE WHOO! OH OH! And we saw police. WAH I TELL U! I SCARED LIKE FUCK THAT ONE! BUT LUCKILY... The police were there for another thing.

An accident. Dunno how to guy drive oso. LOL DRIVE UNTIL CAN HIT TREE. -.-" Either drunk, or car spoil. But u shld know what i'm thinking the reason is.

We saw a sunrise though. At bloody hell 4 plus am. SERIOUS. 4AM. Sunrise! FUCKING COOL ONLY! Then erm... What else ar... Erm... No danger driving today. Kinda tired i guess. HAHA!

OH OH! Yar my dad's car got parked 3 times today. LOL First time the slot was kinda far away. Then this other taxi drove off, so we took his slot. Then after a while, this other car left. THANK HEAVENS his car is so much closer... Then we parked at HIS slot. HAHAHA! So... Hopefully things don't escalate too much later.:)

Anyway...

I dunno why, but... I think my dad already know's i'm driving his car illegally. Just that he dun wan say only. And according to yh, it is because i'm safe.:) Well i always am safe. :p HAHAHA!

Right now... I think i can sleep. Well... I THINK i can sleep.

Still must ask mom to top up money tml... DIE AR DIE AR!

But thanks to experience. Just heck care lah. Actions have consequences yea? Well MOST of them.

Now... Off to bed.. [Hopefully.:)]

NIGHT!

Oh wait. More like MORNING!

Slow down

SLOW

Today is a really slow day. Don't know whether my ciggies have anything to do with it, since i haven't taken any today. Guess being lazy does have its positive sides.

And as expected, i didn't start on PD, i just finished the work that had a deadline today. Last minute worker... AS USUAL. HA...

Relatives are over at here right now, and again, as usual, i'm in my room. HAHA! Forever i guess... Nvm.. At least no one can bother me.:) I can be as lazy as i wanna be.

But on the other hand, i wanna ask...

Why can't people be more spontaneous? Be more... Like.. RANDOM PLZ! It really is getting boring. Nothing to laugh about.

Reading MLIA, is like... Makes me feel.. like... Zzzz... Why doesn't anything like that happen? Even if some of the things happen, the people doing it will get fined or slammed or wadeva shit. Zzzz. Boring Aura rising..

Strangely, my heart is beating very fast. Maybe the helium from ytd? HAHAHA! Now that's something i wanna do... Scolding people in chipmunk voice! HAHAHAH!!! Too bad it's bad for health.. Zzzz... Everything i wanna do seems to be bad for my health. -.-"

Oh well... Nvm. Listen. This is what i'm hearing now.



Oh and i just read something damn WTF. HAHAH!

Today I ordered in Chinese food, so it came with a fortune cookie. My fortune read "When you squeeze an orange, orange juice comes out, because that's what's inside." I'm keeping that fortune for the rest of my life. MLIA.

Sometimes, things are too obvious we forget about it. But for this case, it is more like... They have nothing more to write, so they write random nonsense like this. HAHAH!

Alright... I think i will go to sleep again. Wake up ltr to get a my daily dose.

Suay or Suay? FUCKING SUAY AR!

HAHAHAAH! Just back from a very very exciting adventure.

Now, let me tell u of my journey.:)

So... 2am...

The start of my little adventure...

Took the magical key to the magical vehicle. And of course i took note of how the key was positioned before i took it.:) YH met me at my block, while brian took a short wait at the bus-stop opposite his block.

Today's journey was alittle longer than the first time. Ok MUCH longer. HAHHHAH!!!! Jurong east --> Jurong Point --> Jurong West --> Bukit Batok [Nasi Lemak there] --> Bukit Gombak --> Hillview --> Bukit Batok Central --> THEN FINALLY, home.:)

So the HIGHLIGHTS :

80 at the "hill" after science centre, laughed like crazy there!

100 at some route, forgot where it was.

Some BRILLIANT swerving at the Jurong West area. HHAHHAHA!

3 rounds around the roundabout at Hillview.:) [Brian said he was kinda dizzy. LOL]

MAGNIFICENT U-turn at central around my estate.

THEN COMES...

THE FINALE.

THE BEST FUCKING FINALE EVER.

PARKING THE BLOODY CAR.

GUESS WAD?

No ur supposed to say wad. LOL JUST KIDDING.

BLOODY HELL! SOME OTHER CAR [SJE 2545 L] PARKED AT WHERE MY DAD'S CAR WAS ORIGINALLY AT! *&^%$#@!

Then i'm forced to park at some other spot at the carpark at my house there. Zzzzz...

Now my dad's car is at another spot, which is DAMN obvious the car has been driven. :p But at least i parked the car swee swee-ly. Just that it is at another spot. LOL!

Hope my parents don't notice.

Or else, all of you can prepare for my funeral downstairs of my block. 221. LOLOLOLOLOL!

K i shall go sleep, and try to initate my survival plan later.

HAHAHAHA! WISH ME LUCK!

RULE-BREAKER

MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! PARENTS ARE IN THE ROOM LIAO. LIGHTS ARE OFF.

MUSIC IS BLASTING IN MY ROOM.

Yang Han jsut msned me. We both know what is going on. And i'm getting FUCKING HIGH over it.:)

This is better than any alcohol and music in the world.

I ain't gonna post about anything today.

YET.

Lazy to right now.

Now is to wait till i hear the MAGIC sound.

THE CALLING....

MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!! WAH FUCK! I GETTING CRAZY!!!

This would be one of the few times i'm happy to hear the sound of a snore.:)

NIAM NIAM NIAM NIAM!!! A CHANCE TO BREAK RULES... *SPRINTS AROUND THE HOUSE*

AHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

Rest?

I don't think so....

HEH HEH HEH HEH...

Waiting for my parents to go to dreamland...

Then OLEWA will go to paradise. MWAHAHHAAHAHAHA!!!!

Today...

Really ar...

I finished one pack in a day. Zzzzz... Guess i'm going to die soon huh? Oh too bad...

Shopping Shopping...

Today i went shopping with YH and Angie, before they left for their work.

Today's target was to get clothes or attire appropriate for me to dance SORRY SORRY for my tuition centre's dinner and dance.:)

First thing was that... I didn't have any preference on what to wear.

Second thing was that... I didn't know where to buy the clothes.

Third thing was that... I was quite shy to try on the new attires, cause i was not wearing appropriate pants or anything.

ANYWAYS....

We went to bugis to buy the items. We went to bugis street first, and... DIDN'T buy anything. HAHAHAHAH! Although we saw some interesting shirts and vests.:)

Next we went to Iluma, where i FINALLY got a shirt and vest.:) With much help from the two. At this point, Angie was like close to giving in to temptation to buy stuff for herself. LOL! And yh and i weren't exactly helping. :p

We then went to Manhattan Fish Market to makan. Food there was nice.:) Big in their serving too!!! The fish... FUYOH!!! BIG LIKE WAD ONLY! I LIKE...

Angie then left for work, she was running late. Well... Can't say it's not my fault. So... Apologies to both YH and Angie, i caused them both to be late today. I owe u both then?

After angie left for work, YH brought me to Marina Square. What was there, i tell u... I can ji tao take all my money and just throw it at the cashier and run out with bags of stuff. LOL!

I'm lazy to elaborate on the stuff. Later my heart really %$#@!.... YH! U WAIT! I GET MONEY FIRST! THEN I BUY TILL I SHIOK! HAHAHAHAHAH! I REALLY REALLY WANT THOSE SHOES! JUST WAIT! TML! OR LATER! I MAYBE GO BUY IT DAMNIT! WHOOO!!! $129.00 SIA!!!

Then i left for home.:) And nua till now.

I wanna thank everybody for the christmas wishes.:) I hope u all get ur christmas wishes!

Right now, I just wanna go downstairs and get something to eat. Cya guys.

Erm...

Merry Christmas. AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR [soon to come.:)]

Angie's Recommendation

Ok, now to post about my BREAKFAST today.

I hadn't had a decent meal since ytd afternoon. So i was kinda hungry. Scavanging my house for food, all i found were biscuits and maggie mee. I was kinda sick of maggie mee, so.... Biscuits lor... Then angie gave me a suggestion.

To eat a slice of bread with milo powder on it. [Her childhood favourite.] LOL! So i tried it this morning, [or AFTERNOON really. :p]

K here is PROOF, that i did make your "CHILDHOOD DELICACY" and eat it.

Damn... The internet is like really WTF now... Zzzzz




Milo on bread. I used the 3 in 1 type, cause the content in the original can all became like a rock like that. Cnt break it apart. Zzzz



And if ur wondering why the bread is brown? There it is. STARING RIGHT AT YOUR FACES. HAHAHAHHA!!!

Overall... Not bad lah... But i prefer just eating the powder by itself. Like what i'm doing right now. LOLOLOLOL!

ARGHHHH!!! I NEED ICE-CREAM!! NOW! BEN AND JERRY'S!!!! SMORES SMORES SMORES!!!!

Damn... Nvm i shall get more milo powder, in an attempt to curb my ice-cream needs now.

Inking... Inking...

Damn... Ink. Seems like the shit. Ha!

Watching London Ink now. When i'm supposed to be bloody hell sleeping.

This particular woman took an entire phoenix on her back, and she finished it in one go. Seriously power. She was crying when they were doing it halfway through, but she pulled through and got some fabulous art on her entire back.

ENTIRE BACK.

DAMN. I oso wan. But must wait till after army.

Actually i'm thinking that there is a very high chance i can't get it.

For one, everything that i said i would do, i never fulfil. Yet for everything i said i WON'T do, i do.

Time for a change?

Yes i think it's time for a change.

I need to go to the gym.
I need to go find a new hobby.
I need to go and find myself.
I need.
To.
I dunno.
I just need to do something.

Life is getting abit dull.

MONEY MONEY MONEY. STUDY STUDY STUDY.

BORING.

I wanna go to London.
I wanna go to LA.
I wanna go to Miami.
I wanna go to Japan.
I wanna go to France.
I wanna go to a new place.

I.
Wanna.
Bring.
My.
Nonsense.
TO ANOTHER LEVEL.

Ooooh... Man Vs Food....

Now, I WANNA TRY EVERY SINGLE DELICACY!

Travel & Living.
Thirst for the NEW.
A different way, to satisfy the senses.
To see with new EYES.

I just realised.

Everything that i have done.
Broke the rules that were set.
Guess i just LOVE breaking rules.

Anymore rules to break that give me a long lasting sense of satisfaction?

Driving my dad's car gave me a cheap thrill ride. Lasted pretty long yea.

I'm looking for something else next...

Maybe.. JUST maybe... Something to do with spraying. Not sure yet.

Holidays at the start

Bring me to this place.

Where i don't know nobody inside.

While help waits outside when i'm done.




Ok, anyways... These few days have been quite.... Erm... The only word i can think of is.. NUA. LOL! For the past few days, yh and angie have been staying over at my house. Which led to some stupid events, damn funny! My maid got shocked when she saw angie in the morning.

Still scold me naughty naughty! WAH LAO! I GOOD BOY HOR!


OH yar! I'm suppose to call yh now. Wah lazy ar...

I think i finish my parent's newspaper articles first. NABEI!!!! Got 200 over articles... Zzzzz... Nvm, it will be gone in a flash.

For today's plans... I'm gonna meet Yang Han and Angie to get me some clothes! Not really sure about the shoes, cause i really bo lui liao. Angie is ready for the gloves though, with her glue gun and all. LOL! Hopefully i have enough money later. Or else... I'm going back to my shell until my parents come back.:)

On another hand, My family is still in shanghai right now, and my older but still younger than me sis has not been feeling well these past few days. Mommy says everyone is getting quite tired. Oh well... Hope they all enjoy the remainder of the days. Wah since when i so good ar? LOL!

Guess, absence does really makes the heart grow fonder. 26 december!!! Partly happy oso because no need do news articles liao. :p

K have to be a good, hardworking and filial son. HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! :p

Ask for more. Remember the Word to say.

The sky was clear, the weather seemed perfect. As they admired the scenery, something stopped them in their tracks. It was huge. The doors towered over them. The doors were made of wood. Placed directly in the middle was a heart. Lines were carved into the door. One line made a special impression. It was in the middle of the door. It stretched all the way from the top to the bottom. What was strange was, that the line wasn't carved on the inside of the heart.

Taking not much notice, everyone placed their hands on the door and pushed. The door wouldn't budge. They tried again. The door still couldn't be moved. They tried for what seemed like a long time.

After what seemed like eternity. Everyone gave up. They laid down on the ground, the ground was strange. It didn't feel hard, nor was it soft. It was just, comfortable. You could lie there for the rest of your life.

Time passed, and they all fell asleep. They were alone, or so they thought. A pair of eyes had been following them from the start. This mysterious figure thought to itself, "Maybe just one, it would be better i guess."

It descended from where it had been before, and whispered into the ears of a particular person, "Trust. Try asking to be let in, it may just work.".

It was like a lightning bolt, the guy sprung up from the ground. He was unsure of what had happened, he had felt a very intense pressure on his chest. He couldn't open his eyes, nor could he scream. Aside from the burning question on how an unknown person knew his name, all he had in his mind was the word, please.

He then proceeded to the door, placing each hand firmly on the door. Mustering all the strength he could, he pushed. The door could not be moved. "I must be crazy" he thought. "We tried as a group and failed, what makes me think i can even shift this door the tiniest bit?".

As he started to turn, he heard clicks. It seemed like the sound came from behind the door. Taking no chances, he spun right back towards the door and starting pushing at the door. Still no change. "Weird..." Trust thought, he was absolutely sure that he heard loud clicks from behind the door.

"I think i should wait for everyone else to wake up, before we try anything new." he said to himself. His mind started to wander as he faced his back towards the door. All of a sudden, he heard the sound of weeping. It sounded like a little kid.

He immediately got up and scanned the area. It was a little kid, crying profusely, running in his direction. He couldn't think of anything else, he crouched down as the kid came closer. The kid was carrying chains, the sound of the metal clashing against each other was almost as loud as the kid's sorrow.

His arms were open. An invitation for the kid to show him that he was there for the little fellow, the kid gladly took the offer. As he picked the kid up from the ground, he realised that the kid wasn't as heavy as he had anticipated, he was almost weightless, considering the fact he has those massive metal chains with him.

"Please! Please! Please!", those were the only words coming out of the kid's mouth. Trust was unsure of what the kid's request was. All the kid did was scream the word please. But as he try to comprehend further, it struck him. The kid was staring towards the door and screaming please. What was the kid trying to say? Was the kid trying to steer him and his friend aways from the door? Or was he encouraging them to open it?

Trust couldn't take it any longer, he put the kid down and scrambled across towards his friends. "HEY GUYS! HELP!", he hollered. Everyone else was startled, picking themselves up, everyone was quiet, giving him stares of death. "What are you guys staring at me so angrily for? There's a kid in distress and and and...", He couldn't finish his sentence. The kid was gone. Vanished into thin air.

All he heard, was the same metallic clash at the door. "Please guys follow me, i think i can open this door, the kid is over at the other side. He was crying his heart out. Please. Just trust me." Trust blurted.

Immediately after Trust finished his sentence, another voice broke the silence. "This better work, Trust. Oh well, your name already suggests it anyway." "Thanks Faith, it will, it will."

Trust placed his hands firmly on the doors once again, but this time, it was different. The air turned stagnant, it was very still. Everything was very quiet, as though it were a signal for something important to be said.

Trust opened his mouth. A gush of wind smashed on their faces, it was like facing a tsunami head on, only that it was made of wind instead of water.

If the scenery before was breath-taking, they would all have died at that instance. A garden greeted them, it was inviting. There was a tea table right in the middle of the landscape.

What was more interesting than every other thing, was the fact that there was a person dressed extremely well. He could be the epitomy of the phrase, dressed to impress. Sitting there, pouring what seemed like tea into the teacups placed at the tea table.

Trust sprang right into action, sprinting towards this guy. When he reached the table, he was interrupted even before he could start his sentence. "It is quite rude not to introduce yourself before you start a conversation. Wait, were you going to start? Or were you going to question me?", this guy questioned.

He couldn't waste anymore time. "Hi, my name is trust. I was looking for a kid, he was carrying chains with him and crying very badly, have you seen him?" trust said with his most polite voice. "Now that is better, Hi Trust. No i have not seen such a kid, it is quite impossible for a kid to be carrying chains and running around don't you think?" he replied.

Relax, Take It Easy.

I got left hanging, because i didn't hear anything nice.

Maybe it was because i was selfish.

Oh well.

I'm selfish.

Because it is all about me.

The words i said, were too late.

Maybe i should have said it first.

Before i put on my selfish mask.

As i'm left here hanging.

I'm thinking...

Should someone get me down?

If anyone lets me get down.

Do you wonder what will happen?

I already know.

So i don't wanna be let down.

Cheering me up.

Pulls me higher.

And then i'll be left hanging even higher than before.

And when i look down.

I'll feel even more terrified and lost.

That is what makes me...

I don't know.

Do any of you know?

Music affects my mood very seriously. Therefore, my emotions are shown through my music. My choice of music shows my mood. Get it? You don't have too, although i am pretty certain it is very easy to understand.

There is a piano right across.

In the other room.

If i had continued learning.

You would hear sorrow and rhythm having a duet together every night.

If i could spilt myself into each individual mood.

I would choose to be the one who portrays sorrow.

So i can cry my heart out every night.

Tug at my heart.

Make sure i'm still human.

After that, make sure i'm still alive.

There is a very deep ocean of thoughts and regrets inside of me.

I could drown myself within myself.

And none of you would hear me calling.

None of you would see me calling.

None of you can smell the stench from my rot.

This room is filled with me.

This is my graveyard.

This is also my sanctuary.

This is my inner shell.

Can you see the barriers?

You told me to open up myself.

One has to be close to me.

That is barrier number 1.

One has to know where my house is.

That is barrier number 2.

One has to be let into my house.

That is barrier number 3.

One has to be let into my room.

That is barrier number 4.

One has to understand that i need to be comfortable.

That is barrier number 5.

One has to know that even when i'm comfortable i may not talk.

That is barrier number 6.

One has to know when to talk.

That is barrier number 7.

One has to know when to listen.

That is barrier number 8.

One has to be someone i'm comfortable be in the first place.

That is barrier number 9.

One has to be someone whom i feel i can trust.

That is barrier number 10.

One must understand me.

That barrier.

Is.

Unbreakable.

Full stories are never known with me.

Even if you have broken all these barriers.

These are the physical barriers.

Can u find me?

Within these vines and spikes and traps?

You will not be saving me.

You will not be helping me.

Because.

You are bringing me outside.

Where i'm powerless.

Where i crumble even easily than when i'm inside.

Where cuts turn into scars.

Where burns scar.

Where words tear away at a vulnerable kid.

Where emotions are swung around wildly.

In the end.

It's clear.

I'm terrified.

I'm trying my best.

I'm ok.

I'm ok.

I'm ok.

I'm gonna relax.

I'm gonna take it easy.

When i let rivers flow.

It is always replenished.

For every single drop.

I regret having let it drip away for others to see.

Introvert.

Cancer.

Selfish.

Complicated.

All of them.

I try to hide.

My armour is always ready.

Recently.

I thought that i was ready to drop it all.

I guess i just let the chains loose.

Yet i got torn apart.

As i'm gathering pieces.

Can someone watch my back?

Can someone help me gather the pieces back?

Can someone help me put the pieces in place together?

Where to go from here?

Kinda bored now.

Watched enough of television.

Almost had enough of watching my lappy for the whole day already.

Strangely.

I do not want to play soccer at the moment.

I bet the past me would be like... ?!?!?! At the current me now. HAHAHA!

Ultimate contradiction Mr Gian Kin Toh.:)

What's left huh?

Let me tell u all the several "oaths" i made last time.

1.)NEVER smoke.
2.)NEVER dye my hair.
3.)NEVER go clubbing.
4.)NEVER try relationships.
5.)In the case of the breaking of OATH 4, NEVER take a westwoodian.

Now.

No prize for getting the correct answers.

I have not done 4 and 5. Not bad. HAHAHA! At least i didn't break ALL of my oaths.:)

If i could see my previous self and have a talk.

We wouldn't even talk for 5 secs.

I would just need to take out my pack, and *poof*, someone's gone.

Or else, i would get a bloody hell tight slap.

Either from my parents or myself. HAHA. Seems like wtf huh?



Here's the problem for today.

It is exactly 5:14pm, i want to go out. But i do not want to play soccer, i do not want to see people. I do not want to go and have the same situation. I'm kinda hungry i guess. I think if i do go down, i will buy some food for myself.

Actually, i don't really want to go down. I wanna stay at home. But. Firstly, if i don't go out soon, my parents will drag me to the airport. Not that i don't feel like seeing my cousins or relatives. OK FUCK. I'M LYING. I don't wanna see anyone now. Fuck off thks.:) Unless ur gonna sit beside me and keep quiet. Silence is golden.

Another thing. My "babies" are not here. FUCK THIS SHIT. I'm gonna get addicted. I'm already naming them. I can't name another person, because i will grow on them. And that is stupid, because everything can be ruined if i grow on any one in my group of friends. The only thing i can name and grow on, is not even here. It can't even exist.

I'm sorry. It's not a want. It's a fucking need.:) My studies are ok, they will always be ok. JUST ok. Everything else might be a fucking problem.:) Too bad you two can't read this. Because i'm not gonna let ya.



Let me say another thing.

My "mother" and "wife", mel and hannah respectively, wanna crash my class. Monday huh? Well, i wanna say sure.:) But things make me choose otherwise. My class is like shit, a few of my classmates will piss me off for sure. And most importantly, i won't be in class most of the time. I'll be outside having a dose of death.:) So... I guess u all can just meet me after school or something? WHICH AGAIN, is sort of impossible, because i ain't free. Cause i always make myself busy.:) With unneeded stuff, to get out of unneeded situations.:)

I'm off for a shower. Then i'll see what i wanna do.

Do i seem like i'm calling for help?

Strange. Utterly Strange. Myself that is.

These few days, i've been having very very excessive mood swings [damn this makes me sound like a girl]. But my moods tend to hover over either the irritated or disappointed side.

Irritated by certain people, certain things, certain situations. Things that are happening. Things that AREN'T happening. Things that are going to happen. Things that i THINK are going to happen.

Anyway.

What is even more weird?

My parents.

I don't know what i should feel over this. I was actually extremely confused over that incident. Until i sort of figured out the answer why.

K picture this.

U've just reached home.

U go to ur room.

On ur lappy.

And u are minding ur own business.

Everything seems fine.

SUDDENLY...

There's a knock on ur door.

Ur mom comes in.

She says.

Can u cope with ur studies?

U sure u can cope?

How are ur tests?

U sure ur studies ok?

No stress?

Then she just stands there.

Oh that is just the FIRST part.

Here's the next part.

Ur mom then leaves.

She closes the door.

Not even 10 seconds later.

U hear another knock.

Ur DAD comes in.

And he says...

Can u handle school anot?

U know we recieved the letter right?

Try not to skip again.

Can u cope anot?

Ok ar...

Mommy is sick.

Don't break her heart.

Don't BREAK her heart.

I SWEAR.

When he finished that line.

This song came up in my head. I SWEAR.



At first. I was like... WTF?!

As i was already WTF-ing, my dad suddenly came back into the room.

And said.

Remember, we will always support u.

I was like..

I nvr say u all nvr support me wad.

At the same time.

I was like..

Wait. Support me?

Support me for?

I ain't doing no shit now.



But i got my enlightenment abit later.

Cause i realised that they thought that i skipped school because i couldn't cope with it. Honestly, we all know why we skip school. And we can't tell our parents EVERYTHING can we?


K nvm i dunno wad i'm supposed to be doing now. Oh yar posters. Posters. Posters..

Another one of those days.

Saturday.

Was suppose to work for daniel and help him give out flyers.

But this stupid swollen leg.

And this stupid lazy mindset of mine.

Put me straight face-first into boredom.

Today feels like a Sunday.

Stupid.

Today, i hadn't my daily dose of death. Which sucked. Cause i felt like crying just now.

Stupid.

EVERYTHING IS STUPID.

I RATHER BE ANGRY THAN SAD.

I RATHER BE DRUNK THAN WASTED.

I RATHER BE PHYSICAL THAN VERBAL.

I need a dog. Badly.

No.

I need a companion. Desperately.

I don't want something to be thrown at me to satisfy me.

I want to be GIVEN, what i NEED.

Seriously.

I'm gonna be treating almost everyone this way soon.

Slowly but surely.

I know some of you can see it.

For those that can't?

Good Luck.:)

My daily Death Dose is here.

Just that piece.

A cuddle.
A snuggle.
A pat on the head.
A hug.
A smile that i will remember.
A place.
A person.

A Fantasy will always stay as A Fantasy.

One fantasizes.
But one will realise, even though one may feel good when they fantasize.
In reality it will never happen.
That is when you get a reality check.
Realise that you just dug an even deeper hole to drop yourself in.

How does one get themself out?
Don't ask me.
I'm just digging another hole for myself to drop in.
What goes up, MUST come down.

One day if the sky falls down.
I hope i won't be there to see it.

I want to wake up and see a text message from you and smile.
I want to always anticipate the next time i'm going to see you.
I want to dive into your arms.
I want you to be my other shell.
Where i can share everything.
Where we can share our secrets.
Where we can be alone.

I want you to give me a hug randomly.
I want you to go out with me.
I want to whisper into your ears.
I want to do absolute nonsense with you.
I want you to make me laugh till i cannot do so.
I want to crack jokes to make you laugh till you drop.
I want to be smittened by you and everything you do.

I want to share a bed with you.
Where i can snuggle and cuddle with you till the next day.
And wish that time stopped forever.
I want to smell your hair.
I want you to ruffle my hair till it gets all messy.
I want to be teased by you.
I want to tell EVERYONE about you.
I want to be with you.
For the rest of my life.

Whoever you are.
I'm lost.
My heart is fragile.
I don't trust so much anymore.
I don't talk much anymore.
I don't care much anymore.
I can't have the things that i want.
Can you pick me up?
And bring me on an adventure.
Because i'm in need of one desperately.

Definitely.

YOU know something is not right...
YOU can see that i ain't answering...

Yet.
YOU do not ask anything of it.

I bet YOU can hear that click.
I bet YOU can smell the stench.
I bet YOU can see my behaviour.
I bet YOU know why i took the keys.
I bet YOU know why i kept the keys.
I bet YOU know why i locked the door.
I bet YOU know why i left the house.
I bet YOU think that it is about the dog.

I.
Have.
Just.
Won.
ALL.
OF.
THE.
BETS.

Think.

My Window Grill's open.
My Door is locked.
My Room Keys are in the room.
My Window Grill Keys are in my room.
My Chair is facing the outside of the room.
My Entire Body Is facing the open.

Quick.
Think Fast.
What do you think i'm going to do?

Your Time is running out.
It's Out.

Little Chocolate... Mini Me.

TODAY.
I GOT BACK HOME.
I TOLD MY MOM ABOUT SCHOOL.

THEN...

I CHANGED THE TOPIC TO DOGGY!
I DEBATED WITH HER FOR 1 HOUR!

DAMN!
SHE JUST DIE DIE DON'T WANT ME TO GET A DOG!
EVEN WHEN I SAID IT'S LIKE SMALL!

DAMN!
SHE SAY SHE SCARED!
BUT I'M LIKE, MY FREN THE MOM OSO SCARED AT FIRST, NOW OSO NOTHING!

DAMN!
OMFG!
SHE GAVE ME A CHALLENGE!

SHE SAID.
THERE ARE 6 MEMBERS IN THIS HOUSE.
GET 4 PEOPLE TO GIVE YOU CONSENT.
THEN WE SEE HOW.

WAH LAO!
STILL SEE HOW AR!
$^!%@#$^%#!!

RAWR!
AND!
MY YOUNGER SIBILINGS ARE NOT COUNTED!
THE HONG KAI AND THE JING FANG!
WAH LAO!

MY MOM IS QUITE CERTAIN THAT MY OTHER SIS DON'T WANT.
AND MY MOM IS LIKE DAMN CONFIDENT MY DAD OSO DON'T WANT.

GUESS WHAT?
ME TOO!
T.T

HOW AR?! HELP ME PLZ! I WAN MY CHOCOLATE - POMERANIAN!