I just feel AVERAGE today.

So today... Is an EXTREMELY SIAN DAY. And i've spent the entire time reading MLIA A.K.A My Life Is Average. Funny shit. Seriously. HAHHA! So i'm here to share some of the interesting stuff people write. ENJOY.:)

[This. Will. Be the longest post EVER.:)]

Today I was staying after to do a multiple choice quiz. My teacher was standing over me, watching me choose with what looked like a recorder in his hand. I was struggling with the last question, so I guessed and put C. I then hear "stop, in the name of love" begin to play then stop. My teacher gave me the thumbs up. Then I put B. I heard "its gettin hot in here" Finally I put A. Then he played we are the champions. I got a 100. MLIA.

I WISH FOR MY FACI TO DO THE SAME FOR MY UT!

Today, in English class, we have to make code names for our essay's so the teacher doesn't know who's paper she's grading. I put the name 'Dixie Normous'. When she handed them back, she announced "Alright...who's Dixie Normous?", I stylishly replied "Right here", everyone laughed. She didn't get it. MLIA.

COOL SHIT AR!!! HAHAHAHAH! Those that don't understand, it say's who's dick is enormous? HAHHA!

Today, I realized that if you tilt your head back and put a tic tac between your lips and blow gently you can make it levitate. Guess what I spent my entire physics class doing? MLIA

Am gonna try this soon. LOL

Today on campus I saw a person dressed as scissors, a rock, and paper. The person dressed as the rock proceeded to run across the field and tackle the scissors. It was the most epic game of rock, paper, scissors I have ever seen. MLIA

We should do this at chalet or something. I wanna be ROCK!

Today, my dad tried to get my little brother to stop sucking his thumb so he told my brother that, if he continued, his stomach would grow large and eventually pop. Sure enough today in church we sat next to a 6 month pregnant woman. After church my brother walked up to her with a serious expression and exclaimed, " I know what you've been doing!" The look on her face was priceless.MLIA

Can totally imagine. LOL

Today, I was walking down a street and I saw a sign stuck to a wall, it read "Look Down", there was a sign on the ground that read "Look Up". After several minutes of looking up and down, I stopped due to dizziness and then noticed small writing on the first sign. It read "You are now an official headbanger". Well played, sign. MLIA

Like wtf?! I wanna put that sign in my room or smt. HAHA!

Today, I was talking to my 7-year old cousin on what kind of job she wants when she's older. She responded with, "I want to be a blow job, because people are always saying they want one. I'll never go out of buisness." I still haven't stopped laughing. MLIA.

Kids. Darnest things huh? LOL

Today I was helping an elderly man pick out a new laptop at the electronics store that I work at. When I asked what he would primarily use it for, he answered "to watch kung fu in HD and play WOW." He restored my faith in senior citizens. MLIA

I wanna be as cool as him when i'm that old. HAHA!

Today, I begged my dad to take me to Taco Bell at 2 in the morning. When he asked me why I would wake him up for such I stupid request I continued to tell him that if I didn't get this taco that I would tell mom what he did. I'm now eating three tacos and wondering what my dad did. MLIA

Gotta try this on my parents. LOL

Today , I decided to tell my family a riddle that goes like this: "When you have it you want to share it, but when you share it you don't have it. What is it?" The expected answer to the riddle is "a secret", but my little brother said "Virginity?" I love him a little more now. MLIA

HAHA! BUT TRUE WAD!!!

Today, I was singing in my room. I noticed birds were flying around a tree and tweeting happily through my open window. This made me wonder if I'm secretly a Disney princess. That thought disturbed me a little, as I'm a guy. MLIA

LOL WTF SIA THIS GUY!

Today, a little kid that looked to be about five came up to me. He asked me,"Wanna see me run to China and back?" I said yes, thinking he was going to stand in the same spot and say,"Wanna see me do it again?". Instead, he ran down the street and disappeared from sight. I haven't seen him since. MLIA

First time got someone really serious. LOL!

Today, My mom told me that when I was little, I lost a tooth on christmas eve and started crying because I was scared that the Tooth Fairy and Santa Clause were gonna start fighting. MLIA

Both don't exist plz..

Today, I was walking down the high street past a highly frustrated mother desperately trying to get her hysterical toddler back into her pram. Eventually the mother pleads "If you just get in, we'll sort out ANYTHING you want!" The toddler immediately stopped the screaming, slowly climbed into the pram, strapped herself in, folded her arms and, looking the mother right in the eye calmly says "I want to get out". MLIA

This kid. Power. HA!

Today, my school celebrates Halloween dress-up early. I came to school dressed up as Pikachu. Half-way through English class, something hit me really hard in the back in the head. I looked down to see what it was. It was a miniature pokeball. I looked around to see who had thrown it. It was my professor, he was dressed as Ash Ketchum. MLIA


This shows that schools here need to work harder. HAHHA!

Today, I went to get my pillow from my parent's bed. My mom was asleep on it, so my dad pulled it out really slowly until it was free. She grunted but didn't wake up. Then my dad looked at me and whispered, "Jenga, mom version." I love my dad. MLIA

LOL! Funny.:)

Today, I was in the car with my mom, stuck at a very busy intersection. Some guy cut her off, so she honked loudly for 5 seconds. I heard cheering so I looked over, standing near the sidewalks were a bunch of people holding "Honk if you're horny" and "Honk if you support the gay community" signs. My mom didn't notice, but everyone around her did. MLIA

HAHAHAH! TOO BAD NO ONE IN SG DO THIS! OR WHEN PRIT DRIVING I SURE PRESS THE HORN!

Today was one of my 2nd grade students birthday. Kids can bring in friendship treats for their birthday and are encouraged to bring in healthy snacks. He brought in peanuts in the shell. We passed them out and were having their treat when another little boy says to the class, ‘I just love suckin’ on my nuts!’ I had to leave the room. MLIA

HAHAHAHHHAHAHAAHHAHAH!!!

Today, my friend was teasing me about the fact that I have to use crutches because I clumsily broke my ankle. As he pretended to be me, limping with crutches down some stairs, he fell and sprained his ankle. Now he has to use crutches too. Justice is served. MLIA

I'm sure clement hopes that syahiran kenna something like that, provided he even read until here. HAHAH!

Yesterday was my parent's aniversary. I found out that Dad had proposed to Mom on April fool's day so if she said "no" he could claim it was a joke. MLIA

Now that's a plan B. HAHA!

Today I was in my room doing homework. I started hearing my mom and dad make weird sighing sounds and muffled screams. Then my mom starts yelling "Pull it out! Pull it out!" Turns out they were playing operation. MLIA

This will be really weird if it happens in my house.

A few weeks ago, I wrote a letter to my pen-pal from a foreign country. I told him basic things about America. Today, I recieved a letter from him asking, "What is a Hannah Montana?" I plan on telling him it's a species of Gorilla. Your welcome, MLIAers. MLIA

No comment for this. LOL!

Today, I told my friend that seventy-nine percent of people will believe anything you say that has a percentage in it. He asked me if this was true and I told him yeah. He laughed and said, "Wow, those people are stupid!" MLIA.

AHAHA EVEN MORE STUPID!

Today, I was talking to my friend on Facebook, and he was telling me that he wanted to ask me a question and that it may ruin our friendship. I was worried that a love confession was coming up, instead he asked, "Which do you like more, burger king or mcdonalds?" MLIA.

RANDOM! I LIKE...

The other day my parents came home to find their lawn covered in pink, plastic flamingos. They found a note on the door explaining that they could pay $5 to have the flamingos removed for good, or $10 dollars to have them moved to the neighbor's yard. Turned out it was a class fundraiser. I love my school. MLIA

Lets try this people! At those bungalows!

Today, I took my kids to cut firewood. As my chainsaw started cutting into a tree, I heard screaming. I stopped and turned around to see what was wrong. My daughter was standing there, silently watching me. I went back to cutting, and heard the screaming again. I then found that my daughter was "screaming for the tree beacause it couldn't for itself". My daughter is 17. MLIA

LOGIC! HAHAHAH!

Today we had exams, and the Professor had earlier said that if you can carry it in, you can use it to help you. One kid actually carried in a post-grad student. The Professor held fast to his word. MLIA

POWER I OSO WAN!

Today, I was watching television with my brother when an ad for Dick's Sporting Goods came on. My brother excitedly yelled out, "DICKS! I love Dicks!" He still does not get why I was laughing so hard. MLIA.

HAHAHA LOSER SIA!

Today I was at a debate tournament, and my opponent stood to rebuttal. He said "my opponent's arguement is like a bikini, what it reveals is very interesting, but what it covers is crucial." I lost the debate but I think he deserved it more.MLIA

Seems true huh. LOL!

Today, I walked into a bookstore to research on different psychological structures between males and females. As I went past the display stand, there was a book called 'What Men Know About Women'. I opened it, and discovered that it was completely blank. MLIA.

This. Definitely true. LOL!

Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all. MLIA

Wah if got a fake emma watson sms me i oso happy. LOL

Today my little brother was trying to convince our mom to let him go to a party, stating that "everyone's going!" She asked him, "well if everyone jumped off a cliff would you do it too?" He replied, "Yes, because their bodies would cushion my fall." My brother rocks. MLIA

MOM OWNED! HAHAHA!

Today, my friend and I decided to watch home videos from when she was around three . Her mom, behind the camera, asked her to count to five and she did . Her mom then asked her if she could count higher . She then proceeded to stand on her chair, raise her hand in the air and count to five again . It made my day . MLIA .

Talk about literal. HAHA!

Today, I saw a sign that said "Attention Dog Owners: Please pick up after your dogs. Thank you. Attention Dogs: Grrrrr, bark, woof. Good boy." It made my day. MLIA

LOL THIS ONE REALLY WTF! HAHAH!

Today I woke up and heard my parents arguing. The problem? Every time my mom would listen to "You Belong With Me" by Taylor Swift on her ipod, my dad would interrupt her to play "Heartless" by Kanye. I love my parents. MLIA

Some parents are just awesome.

Today, I was in the checkout line when I saw a mother and her four year old son. The son was screaming his brains out in hope to get a candy bar, but his mother wasn't taking the performance. He proceeded to scream, "If I don't get my candy bar, I'll tell grandma you put daddy's peepee in your mouth!!". The mother dropped all her groceries, grabbed her kid, and stormed out of the store. I've never laughed so hard. You go, little dude. MLIA

MOM PAWNED!!! LOLOLOL!

Simply Put. Enjoy.

K i just came back from dinner. I had dinner with Fiz, Ron and Jared. LOL Idiotically funny dinner lah. Like. WTF + LMAO + Paiseh! HAHAHAH! All thanks to Ron / Ronald / HUI RONG AR / Wei Rong / Wei Yong / ENG WEI YONG.

We had dinner at Sakae Sushi at Causeway Point, simply enjoyable. As usual... We were up to our usual nonsense at this buffet for four. HAHAH! Ronald ar... Really ar. No Hui Shan, No camera, NONSENSE LIKE HELL. I tell u. AKU CEKAP [However this is spelt]. Wo Gen Ni Shuo. U really MUST see it to believe it.

HERE'S THE MAGNIFICIENT RONALD ENG WEI YONG AT HIS NONSENSICAL BEST!



This is the first video. Headphones ARE advised, can't make out what was being discussed. LOL



This is the FINAL video for Mr. Ron. HAHAHAH! Nonsense sia. Seriously HAHAHHAH!!!! RONALD! WATCH OUT AR! If u piss me off... These vids go on Facebook, Twitter [I'll create an account JUST FOR IT.:)], Msn, Or wadeva Public stuff. HAHAHH!

Leverage here.. Leverage... Nothing much.:) HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

It Ain't Too Far Away

The Wind rushing past my ears, my legs do not feel any strain, i'm running past everyone, and i get the ball.

How long has it been since i can do such a thing? Extremely long if u ask me. I miss running past everyone with little or no effort at all.

I played 2 field matches yesterday. One at 9am in the morning at KEMBANGAN [FUCKING FAR LAH!]. And the other at 3pm at SengKang [OSO FUCKING FAR]. Both oso lose. Damn chui ar. The first match... Wah. I nothing to say ar... My sprinting. Not bad already. Budden, FOR THE FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE AR, got this bastard, can run at the same speed as me. WAH LIKE WHOA..... When i was running beside him while chasing for the ball, i turn to look at my side, then like, WHOA, this guy fast sia! LOL But i quite happy i run same speed as him, apparently he is from some army force. Eh not bad ar... HHAHAHAH!!! But my stamina ar. Chui like hell.

After the second match, royston and i went to eat some PIE KIA. HAHA NICE SIA. Then we went home. Then when taking the MRT right, we saw this woman who like a pig. LOL FUCKING LOOK ALIKE LAH! HAHAHAH! OH OH! We oso saw this person sweeping the roof of the shelter at SP. Then we were like WTF?!

Anyway. Today... My whole body sore like hell. LOL First time i play 2 matches in a day. So.. Like.. Wah. Strain ar.... HAHAHAH!

How close am i going get?

I opened my cupboard. Uncliped the box, stuck my hand inside. What i pulled out wasn't that bad. But it would lead to something bad. I took my 80 cent lighter + mini-torchlight. [HAHAH! Nice or wad only that lighter!]

My intention?

I was to bring my little brother out to eat some ice-cream at mcdonalds. Maybe grab a bite since i haven eaten earlier today. And buy a pack, and meet yh after i'm done eating with my lil bro. After which we will go to the CC to sign up for that baking course.

And for once. I'm glad things didn't turn out the way i wanted to. Although my brother changed his mind on eating some ice-cream, i guess i finally cleared my head, at least for the moment yea. As i was walking over to cheers, my stomach grumbled. But i had no money, well i wanted at least 1 $10 note in my wallet. LOL. So i decided to check out my balance in my account, after checking i drew out $30 to spend. Now i guess i'll be booking a lesson this sat?

Right now, the tally continues eh... One LONG LONG week. And i can totally say that i'm quite sian as of right now. DAMN SIAN AR.

Tonight, i wanna go Powerhouse to meet LP, so long nvr see her liao sia! Budden... Like nobody going. From my side at least. So.. I guess i have to wait until... Some other time i guess. haha!

Draft?

I'll Update everything ltr. Here are the videos and pictures!

Don't We All?

I wanna sleep more.

I wanna dream more.

I wanna know more.

I wanna get more.

I wanna listen more.

I wanna appreciate more.

Alot of things are running through my head. So I'll tell you why.

Sleep, Dream, Wake Up unsatisfied, go back to sleep, dream again, think into it.

I had a couple of short dreams last night.

My first dream was kinda weird. Premonition i think? I had my arms around this person, or rather i was seeing arms being wrapped around that person. Not really sure if it was me, but from my view, seems like those were my arms. And these arms... Not the usual i should say.

Long. That is usual.
Buffed. That is NOT usual.
Tattooed. That is CERTAINLY NOT usual.

Thing is, i don't look at the face of the person i supposedly have my arms around. So i don't know who it is. Kinda stupid huh~ Oh well, i shall not think too much about it.

Second dream. EVEN MORE WEIRD! I dreamt that i was sleeping on my bed, ok, like exact position of where my bed is in my room currently. But the difference is that the fan is like positioned in front of me, not beside me as it is right now. And that fan, like, some super fan like that, DAMN BIG SIA! With some side pocket thingy, dunno what that's for lah, but kinda weird.

Most unbelievable thing, there was a person sitting on top of my "air-con". I wasn't shocked, but more irritated. I forgot what the person talked about, but i'm pretty sure that wherever we were, it wasn't my room, it was a room tailored to look like mine right now. It was bigger, more spacious and the walls were coloured blue. There was no painting of the yacht that is currently being hung in front of my bed, the walls ran in a straight line, not having any curves like i do have right now.

That person and i quarrelled about something, and i told that person, if i rmb correctly, it was a he. To get lost and let me sleep. After that, i forgot what happened. Guess i drifted off to sleep yea.

PARKWAY PARADE!

Anyway... Today is my fourth day! Not bad Not bad.:) Yesterday i thought i kenna withdrawal sympton seh! While eating with cleve at parkway parade, my whole body started trembling. It wasn't cold or what sia, just suddenly tremble tremble. I told cleve maybe W.S, but we said to confirm after i finish eating, cause maybe i'm just too hungry lah.

Turns out, yea... I was too hungry. LOL! Yesterday i went over to PP after playing soccer at jurong east with the usuals. Met up to see cleve, sam, jeff, yq and OF COURSE... BIG BIRD... DANIEL! HAHAHAH!!! We were gonna discuss abt some stuff? Yea, about his tuition thingy. So i was kinda bored, and apparently kinda shagged. When i reached macs right, yq say i look damn tired like that. And i'm like, really meh?! And she said i looked like i just cried. -.-" I just washed my face man... HAHAHAAHA! Oh well, so it looks like... Without my little ciggys, i look abit disoriented.

I had actually wanted to go clubbing or at least drinking last night. And well... things just did not happen lah. HA! So i told them i wanted to drink.:) And *blah blah blah* Drinks bought. LOL

Cleve and i had to wait for a place to drink at daniel's because his place was packed ytd. So while waiting, we sat outside macs at the playground there. THEN... KNN! SO MANY BLOODY IDIOTS LIGHT UP IN FRONT OF ME! @#$%^! Then i like.... wah lao.... T.T

So i used bubble-tea to distract me. HAHHA! Worked for like. 10 mins? Then i wan to *AHEM* again liao. LOL! Aiya. But my resolve SSSSSTRONG LIKE WHAT ONLY! [I bet yang han sure says otherwise. HAHHAAHAH!] So nvr smoke lor.:)

AND FINALLY... AFTER WAITING FOR LIKE DAMN LONG... Cleve and i could enter the room to "PARRRTEHHHH" WHOO HOO!! We played his house of the dead [typing version instead of guns u have to type to kill.]. Wah like difficult only. No cheatcode one. Cnt keep continuing.

Then play and drink, play and drink. Drink until i tipsy, but still can manoeuvre my way around. Then yq finished her tuition and drank abit. Cleve was kinda high. I was definitely high, but the taste started to get disgusting cause no ice, so i stopped. Yq like nvr drink oso laugh laugh. Maybe because we too funny liao lah. HAHA!

So the 3 of us discussed with daniel about things to come and erm... Honestly, i'm still quite lost about it. Even if i was like DAMN SOBER, i tell u i oso dun understand fully ar.

JOURNEY TO BLOCK 283!

I took a taxi back to central to meet yang han and brian and ah loy. We went to get some nasi lemak and finish the remainder of the liquor i brought back. So when we were done with our nasi and walking to block 283 right, this FUCKING BODOH INDIAN, purposely go bang into us. Like.. -.-"

Then he asked us "EH U WAN FIGHT AR?!". And of all the people, he had to ask ah loy. Like. Wah lao. Why pick him... Seriously NO BALLS LAH FUCK! Then his fren say "sry ar, he mabok." Like. -.-" Deepavali, u oso wan create trouble. Plus if really start. We got four leh uncle, u got one tipsy guy over there with ONE fren who is already trying very hard to control his fren. Haiyo... INDIANS AR.... [LOL FUCKING RACIST SIA!]

After that incident, we drank and headed back home. I was feeling HOT LIKE CRAZY! Like *licks tongue and touches own stomach* *SIZZLE*. HAHAHAHAHAH! Then this stupid mosquito, which i have been trying VERY hard to kill, keep biting me. IDIOT! But i think it bite me twice then die already. LOL! Either die of alcohol intoxication, or die of being over-heated. HAHAHAH!!!

Thats all for two days worth of stuff.:) If you've made it here. Congrats on tahan-ing. LOL

My Second Day.:)

Ytd i was too sleepy to post anything on my blog, so i'll give a recap on ytd.:) YTD I DREW AN ANIME CHARACTER! POWER OR WAD! I SHOW U!



POWER OR WAD?! LOL! Aiya first attempt on drawing sia.... Ok i know its kind of a failure, but at least the effort is there yea.:) NEXT TIME CONFIRM BETTER ONE!

I was just getting quite high in school. HAHAHA!

Then when i went home right, i was looking for some stupid videos on youtube. And i came across SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE! Whoa. Argentine Tango. HOT STUFF LIKE FUCK! LOL! ANOTHER VIDEO LETS GO!



And got damn high. HAHAHAH! FUCKING SEXY PLZ!

Anyway. Now for TODAY. TGIF! *THANK GOD IT'S FRIDAY!*

Art of Story, Melinda Clark. Today we were given slips of paper to fill in. And i got the paper writing : "I WAS..." Guess what i wrote?

THIS IS THE TRUTH FUCK!



And GUESS WHAT! SO HAPPY SIA! NOBODY BELIEVED THAT I SMOKED BEFORE! LET ALONE BE A HEAVY SMOKER! WHOO HOO!!! Guess my face still too innocent lah. LOL

Oh well. Haha! Today is the second day yea.:) No withdrawal symptoms yet. Hopefully never.:) Ok i'm off for now. I'll update ltr if i can.:)