So today... Is an EXTREMELY SIAN DAY. And i've spent the entire time reading MLIA A.K.A My Life Is Average. Funny shit. Seriously. HAHHA! So i'm here to share some of the interesting stuff people write. ENJOY.:)
[This. Will. Be the longest post EVER.:)]
Today I was staying after to do a multiple choice quiz. My teacher was standing over me, watching me choose with what looked like a recorder in his hand. I was struggling with the last question, so I guessed and put C. I then hear "stop, in the name of love" begin to play then stop. My teacher gave me the thumbs up. Then I put B. I heard "its gettin hot in here" Finally I put A. Then he played we are the champions. I got a 100. MLIA.
I WISH FOR MY FACI TO DO THE SAME FOR MY UT!
Today, in English class, we have to make code names for our essay's so the teacher doesn't know who's paper she's grading. I put the name 'Dixie Normous'. When she handed them back, she announced "Alright...who's Dixie Normous?", I stylishly replied "Right here", everyone laughed. She didn't get it. MLIA.
COOL SHIT AR!!! HAHAHAHAH! Those that don't understand, it say's who's dick is enormous? HAHHA!
Today, I realized that if you tilt your head back and put a tic tac between your lips and blow gently you can make it levitate. Guess what I spent my entire physics class doing? MLIA
Am gonna try this soon. LOL
Today on campus I saw a person dressed as scissors, a rock, and paper. The person dressed as the rock proceeded to run across the field and tackle the scissors. It was the most epic game of rock, paper, scissors I have ever seen. MLIA
We should do this at chalet or something. I wanna be ROCK!
Today, my dad tried to get my little brother to stop sucking his thumb so he told my brother that, if he continued, his stomach would grow large and eventually pop. Sure enough today in church we sat next to a 6 month pregnant woman. After church my brother walked up to her with a serious expression and exclaimed, " I know what you've been doing!" The look on her face was priceless.MLIA
Can totally imagine. LOL
Today, I was walking down a street and I saw a sign stuck to a wall, it read "Look Down", there was a sign on the ground that read "Look Up". After several minutes of looking up and down, I stopped due to dizziness and then noticed small writing on the first sign. It read "You are now an official headbanger". Well played, sign. MLIA
Like wtf?! I wanna put that sign in my room or smt. HAHA!
Today, I was talking to my 7-year old cousin on what kind of job she wants when she's older. She responded with, "I want to be a blow job, because people are always saying they want one. I'll never go out of buisness." I still haven't stopped laughing. MLIA.
Kids. Darnest things huh? LOL
Today I was helping an elderly man pick out a new laptop at the electronics store that I work at. When I asked what he would primarily use it for, he answered "to watch kung fu in HD and play WOW." He restored my faith in senior citizens. MLIA
I wanna be as cool as him when i'm that old. HAHA!
Today, I begged my dad to take me to Taco Bell at 2 in the morning. When he asked me why I would wake him up for such I stupid request I continued to tell him that if I didn't get this taco that I would tell mom what he did. I'm now eating three tacos and wondering what my dad did. MLIA
Gotta try this on my parents. LOL
Today , I decided to tell my family a riddle that goes like this: "When you have it you want to share it, but when you share it you don't have it. What is it?" The expected answer to the riddle is "a secret", but my little brother said "Virginity?" I love him a little more now. MLIA
HAHA! BUT TRUE WAD!!!
Today, I was singing in my room. I noticed birds were flying around a tree and tweeting happily through my open window. This made me wonder if I'm secretly a Disney princess. That thought disturbed me a little, as I'm a guy. MLIA
LOL WTF SIA THIS GUY!
Today, a little kid that looked to be about five came up to me. He asked me,"Wanna see me run to China and back?" I said yes, thinking he was going to stand in the same spot and say,"Wanna see me do it again?". Instead, he ran down the street and disappeared from sight. I haven't seen him since. MLIA
First time got someone really serious. LOL!
Today, My mom told me that when I was little, I lost a tooth on christmas eve and started crying because I was scared that the Tooth Fairy and Santa Clause were gonna start fighting. MLIA
Both don't exist plz..
Today, I was walking down the high street past a highly frustrated mother desperately trying to get her hysterical toddler back into her pram. Eventually the mother pleads "If you just get in, we'll sort out ANYTHING you want!" The toddler immediately stopped the screaming, slowly climbed into the pram, strapped herself in, folded her arms and, looking the mother right in the eye calmly says "I want to get out". MLIA
This kid. Power. HA!
Today, my school celebrates Halloween dress-up early. I came to school dressed up as Pikachu. Half-way through English class, something hit me really hard in the back in the head. I looked down to see what it was. It was a miniature pokeball. I looked around to see who had thrown it. It was my professor, he was dressed as Ash Ketchum. MLIA
This shows that schools here need to work harder. HAHHA!
Today, I went to get my pillow from my parent's bed. My mom was asleep on it, so my dad pulled it out really slowly until it was free. She grunted but didn't wake up. Then my dad looked at me and whispered, "Jenga, mom version." I love my dad. MLIA
LOL! Funny.:)
Today, I was in the car with my mom, stuck at a very busy intersection. Some guy cut her off, so she honked loudly for 5 seconds. I heard cheering so I looked over, standing near the sidewalks were a bunch of people holding "Honk if you're horny" and "Honk if you support the gay community" signs. My mom didn't notice, but everyone around her did. MLIA
HAHAHAH! TOO BAD NO ONE IN SG DO THIS! OR WHEN PRIT DRIVING I SURE PRESS THE HORN!
Today was one of my 2nd grade students birthday. Kids can bring in friendship treats for their birthday and are encouraged to bring in healthy snacks. He brought in peanuts in the shell. We passed them out and were having their treat when another little boy says to the class, ‘I just love suckin’ on my nuts!’ I had to leave the room. MLIA
HAHAHAHHHAHAHAAHHAHAH!!!
Today, my friend was teasing me about the fact that I have to use crutches because I clumsily broke my ankle. As he pretended to be me, limping with crutches down some stairs, he fell and sprained his ankle. Now he has to use crutches too. Justice is served. MLIA
I'm sure clement hopes that syahiran kenna something like that, provided he even read until here. HAHAH!
Yesterday was my parent's aniversary. I found out that Dad had proposed to Mom on April fool's day so if she said "no" he could claim it was a joke. MLIA
Now that's a plan B. HAHA!
Today I was in my room doing homework. I started hearing my mom and dad make weird sighing sounds and muffled screams. Then my mom starts yelling "Pull it out! Pull it out!" Turns out they were playing operation. MLIA
This will be really weird if it happens in my house.
A few weeks ago, I wrote a letter to my pen-pal from a foreign country. I told him basic things about America. Today, I recieved a letter from him asking, "What is a Hannah Montana?" I plan on telling him it's a species of Gorilla. Your welcome, MLIAers. MLIA
No comment for this. LOL!
Today, I told my friend that seventy-nine percent of people will believe anything you say that has a percentage in it. He asked me if this was true and I told him yeah. He laughed and said, "Wow, those people are stupid!" MLIA.
AHAHA EVEN MORE STUPID!
Today, I was talking to my friend on Facebook, and he was telling me that he wanted to ask me a question and that it may ruin our friendship. I was worried that a love confession was coming up, instead he asked, "Which do you like more, burger king or mcdonalds?" MLIA.
RANDOM! I LIKE...
The other day my parents came home to find their lawn covered in pink, plastic flamingos. They found a note on the door explaining that they could pay $5 to have the flamingos removed for good, or $10 dollars to have them moved to the neighbor's yard. Turned out it was a class fundraiser. I love my school. MLIA
Lets try this people! At those bungalows!
Today, I took my kids to cut firewood. As my chainsaw started cutting into a tree, I heard screaming. I stopped and turned around to see what was wrong. My daughter was standing there, silently watching me. I went back to cutting, and heard the screaming again. I then found that my daughter was "screaming for the tree beacause it couldn't for itself". My daughter is 17. MLIA
LOGIC! HAHAHAH!
Today we had exams, and the Professor had earlier said that if you can carry it in, you can use it to help you. One kid actually carried in a post-grad student. The Professor held fast to his word. MLIA
POWER I OSO WAN!
Today, I was watching television with my brother when an ad for Dick's Sporting Goods came on. My brother excitedly yelled out, "DICKS! I love Dicks!" He still does not get why I was laughing so hard. MLIA.
HAHAHA LOSER SIA!
Today I was at a debate tournament, and my opponent stood to rebuttal. He said "my opponent's arguement is like a bikini, what it reveals is very interesting, but what it covers is crucial." I lost the debate but I think he deserved it more.MLIA
Seems true huh. LOL!
Today, I walked into a bookstore to research on different psychological structures between males and females. As I went past the display stand, there was a book called 'What Men Know About Women'. I opened it, and discovered that it was completely blank. MLIA.
This. Definitely true. LOL!
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all. MLIA
Wah if got a fake emma watson sms me i oso happy. LOL
Today my little brother was trying to convince our mom to let him go to a party, stating that "everyone's going!" She asked him, "well if everyone jumped off a cliff would you do it too?" He replied, "Yes, because their bodies would cushion my fall." My brother rocks. MLIA
MOM OWNED! HAHAHA!
Today, my friend and I decided to watch home videos from when she was around three . Her mom, behind the camera, asked her to count to five and she did . Her mom then asked her if she could count higher . She then proceeded to stand on her chair, raise her hand in the air and count to five again . It made my day . MLIA .
Talk about literal. HAHA!
Today, I saw a sign that said "Attention Dog Owners: Please pick up after your dogs. Thank you. Attention Dogs: Grrrrr, bark, woof. Good boy." It made my day. MLIA
LOL THIS ONE REALLY WTF! HAHAH!
Today I woke up and heard my parents arguing. The problem? Every time my mom would listen to "You Belong With Me" by Taylor Swift on her ipod, my dad would interrupt her to play "Heartless" by Kanye. I love my parents. MLIA
Some parents are just awesome.
Today, I was in the checkout line when I saw a mother and her four year old son. The son was screaming his brains out in hope to get a candy bar, but his mother wasn't taking the performance. He proceeded to scream, "If I don't get my candy bar, I'll tell grandma you put daddy's peepee in your mouth!!". The mother dropped all her groceries, grabbed her kid, and stormed out of the store. I've never laughed so hard. You go, little dude. MLIA
MOM PAWNED!!! LOLOLOL!
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